User:Boomer/Beekeepers
The UN Beekeepers are an elite commando squad under the authority of the United Nations. This unit was founded in the late 14th century in a resolution introduced by the ambassador for the Roman Catholic Church, and has been a source of great controversy ever since.
Origins[edit | edit source]
In 1381, Vatican City's Department of Holy War Research and Development group (known as WAR RAD), under directive of Pope Allergus II began researching biological weapons in order to more effectively fight the Global War On Jews, Arabs, Homosexuals, and the French. Although the group had already had some success with a deadly virus codenamed "The Black Death" they were still researching new ways of delivering this lethal virus when they by chance stumbled upon one of the most deadly bio-toxins known to man.
Friar Angelino Sextulio was doing research on possible pollination of the virus by several different insect species when he came upon, the bee. His body was discovered several hours later, swollen to a disturbing blob like mass of poison and high-fructose honey. The Roman Catholic Church had discovered the honey pot of biological warfare.
After 3 years and over 100 deaths, the Holy See finally achieved success and created the world's first swarm of bees. The swarm is a large gathering of bees, acting as a single unit, known for attacking any living thing it comes across. A single bee's sting is not powerful enough to cause any real harm but when a swarm attacks the bee's natural toxins are multiplied. A typical swarm can release enough toxin to kill a baby Snuffleupagus, this is a slow and extremely painful death thought to be very similar to watching a marathon of Charles In Charge.
Modern Day[edit | edit source]
Over the centuries, there have been many advances in wartime beekeeping. In the 1700s the first cannon-powered swarm was developed. This was crutial in the famous Bee Siege of Latveria. The 20th century also so many advanced in bee technology including satellite guided, depleted uranium armor, and tactical nuclear bees. The elite UN Beekeepers still remain as the most dominant bee-fighting forces on the planet despite the recent bee attacks unleashed on most of the Western Hemisphere by terrorist "Killer Bees" originating from several nations in Africa.
Today the UN Beekeepers consist of mostly Swiss mercenaries (the traditional beekeepers of the original Vatican unit) as well as Hungarian peasants who are recruited because they work for mere drops of honey and can be used as cheap, inexpensive human bee-fodder that can be slaughtered without violating any international treaties dealing with crimes against humanity. As of 2008, UN Beekeepers have been deployed to Iraq as part of Operation Iraqi Freedom and have so far conducted over 2,000 successful raids killing close to 30,000 civilians.