User:BlueDexter/Ib Al-dzi

Ib Al-dzi (1580-1618) was an Islamic prayer-scientagician to whom the first official schematic of a Door Handle is attributed. Prior to his work, all door handles were different; no standardised method existed, and examples have been unearthed containing such bloody stupid elements as feathers, irony, paint, and zircon.

The homogeneity of modern door handles is to be laid at his feet, but Al-dzi never lived to receive the acclaim due to him. His meticulous schematics placed door handle knowledge into the minds of those unready for it, and it became a military weapon in short order. After seeing his wife raped to death by a giant door handle, Al-dzi took his own life in 1618 - only three years after his "Handelus Technimata" was completed.

It was Sir Horace Cunterstone who first realised the door-related applications of door handles.