User:Ben Fox

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The Bio

Birth Weight: A lot

Current Weight: Average

Current Height: Average

Favorite Color: Blue

Favorite Food: Everything

Favorite Season: Winter

Favorite Seasoning: Rosemary

Favorite Condement: Hot Sauce

Favorite Class: Painting with Tullio

Favorite Sport: Cricket Test Matches (5 day long ones)

The Beginning

Ben Fox was born on some day at some time. He grew up in some place. When he was only three, he had mastered the art of the piano. Throughout his preteen years, he traveled the Eastern seaboard performing at local area theaters. However, by the time he began High School he lost interest in the Piano. For a short period after this, he fell into a slight depression, gaining 85 pound eating nothing but doughnuts and chocolate milk.

The Olympics

Following this three day period, he decided to join a gym to lose weight. Within two weeks, he had himself back to his 6 foot 2 inch, 175 lb self. He was only able to bench 290 at the time, but still qualified for the junior olympics in the weight lifting event. He won three gold medals that year.

The Football

In 2005, he ran for president of his sophomore class. He came up short by two votes. However, he looked at it as an opporutunity. With the extra time he had, he decided to try out for the football team. He made the JV team as a defensive linemen. However, during a practice one day, the coach caught him throwing around the ball. With the recent injury of the starting quarterback and lack of backups, the coach made Ben Fox the quarterback. In the next game, Ben Fox threw four touchdown passes and lead his team to a fourth quarter comeback win. The next Monday, he quit the team to pursue an NFL career. He did not realize that one win as a JV quarterback would not get you into the NFL. After 27 combines, Fox was still waiting to hear from a team. Finally, on the day before the start of the NFL preseason, Ben Fox heard from the Houston Texans. He politely declined.

The Academic

Deciding to quit sports forever, Ben moved back home and was readmitted into highschool. He decided to become an academic, instead of a jock. Starting his junior year as number 392 in his class, he faced a rough climb. The very next day he had a big history test. When he went home, he studied for minutes upon minutes. Finally, he was able to understand the information. As the story is told, he was lying on his bed, thinking about Chuck Norris and then he had an epiphany. The next day, having forgotten about the epiphany, Ben took the test. As he looked at the test, he realized he had no idea what was going on. Quickly guessing on all 500 questions, Ben handed it in in less than five minutes. With all the other students amazed, ney, baffled, Ben went to the bathroom. When he returned, the teacher was sitting at her desk with a frown. Ben walked over and asked what was wrong. The teacher handed him his test. He got an A. With that grade, he moved from number 392, to number 2. The only one left in his way to academic glory was Ching Chang...half Chinese, half Korean, half genius, and one eighth funk. In June, Ben began his final exams. Having aced all exams but Gym, his outlook was pretty positive. The gym final would be a physical test. Having competed in the olympics, and being drafted for professional football team and a professional curler with all those lucrative sponsorships, Ben thought he would ace to test for sure. The day came...Ching Chang and Ben Fox both arrived at the gym. The teacher yelled go! They both knew instictively what to do. Ben ran to the ropes...flew to the top of the rope, rang the bell and jumped down...then both Ching and Ben ran to the basketball court. After both Ben and Ching hit 500 consecutive 3 pointers, they went to the wrestling courts. Ben pinned Ching then kicked him in the side. Then they arrived at the start of the triathlon. Ben was ahead for the whole time, but Ching Chang finished 1/8 a second ahead of Ben. Ben recieved a 99, while Chang recieved a 100. Ben finished number 2. Chang finished number 1. [edit]

The Superhero

When summer roled around, Ben had realized that he had superpowers. The next day he realized he was wrong.

The Summer

The summer before his senior year was perhaps the most important summer of his life. Having passed his drivers test after the seventh time, Ben was ready to drive. One night, he got in his car, and he drove and he drove and he drove. Once he reached the end of his block, he was ready to turn. He turned left, but forgot to turn on his turning signal. Fourteen police cars started chasing him. He continued to drive anyway. Without realizing that fourteen police cars were following him, he continued to drive and drive and drive. Unbeknowst to him, he was in a low speed chase. After an hour, 72 police cars, 14 helicopters, 7 tanks, and 2 F40's were chasing after him. When he was finally pulled over, the 95 people who were chasing him, came to his car. The police Captain walked up to the window and said, "Kid, I like your style". From that day forward, Ben never had to worry about it again. After a long tiring night, Ben went to sleep. He woke up 2 months later for the first day of school.

The Fall

Ben Fox once fell and all the kings men could not put him back together again.

The "The"

When the word "the" was invented by the prime minister of Canada in 1908, Ben was down-and-out and needed money. As a result, Ben killed the prime minister, who was on his way to the patent office, and stole the idea. Now, Ben recieves 10¢ every time the word "the" is used, meaning I now owe him exactly $1.00. (Guest paragraph by Aaron Nevins)

The Altercation

As Ben Fox entered the Ocean City boardwalk 99 Cents Store with exactly one dollar, he felt a sense of greatness. He picked up a small product that shall not be named from the back of the store. He approached the counter in hopes of a purchase. Luckily for him, his product was not taxable and would remain at its original price which Ben thought would be exactly 99 Cents. He handed a single dollar bill to the clerk. After waiting several seconds, the clerk said "I will help the next person in line". Ben, infuriated for not recieving his correct change of exactly one penny, would not go away without a fight. Ben waited at the counter with his arm extended and his hand opened waiting for the penny. He exclaimed, "I believe you owe me one penny in change". The elderly clerk responded that the name of the store was just a name and that everything was actually a dollar. Ben responded that there were signs in the store proclaiming that "All items are 99 Cents". The woman yelled that he was giving her a hard time and that the sale would be denied. Ben however, was not going to budge. He reached across the counter and grabbed her by her big fat head, and he said, "I'm not going to jail for you or anybody!"(I owe Mike Myers $1.50). In response the clerk grabbed a plastic gun off the wall and shot him with a foam dart. After Ben screamed in agony, he followed the woman home and baked for her exremely delicious banana bread with chocolate chips.

The Altercation: Part II

As Ben left the forementioned dollar store, he unknowingly bumped into a speed walker. Feeling remorse, Ben was going to immediately appologize but the man quickly shoved Ben out of the way and screamed "Don't you ever cut in front of me again". Ben stood there wondering why the man may have acted that way and was going to confront him. His friend who shall not be named for legal purposes told him to forget about it. Ben, however, would not walk away from this man. Ben ran up to the speed walker and shouted "What the h#*@ is wrong with you!" The man responded "You cut in front of me back there and you've done it again". Ben walked away but not before yelling "F&#@ @&#* !%^#@@ @&&#@&!^#@ #%@#@%%#& #%@^&@*#^% #^#& you man". The man chased after Ben but was unable to keep up and shouted in despair "I won't take this from you little S*#&@s any more". Ben walked back to his friends and told them the story. But after realizing the situation, Ben ran back up to the guy, looked at his feet and saw he had no shoes and had gotten a splinter from the boardwalk. The man was unable to remove the splinter with his big greasy fingers so Ben did it for him. They went on to get Ice Cream, Funnel Cake, and pizza. It may remind you of a fable that you once heard. I believe its called the "Tortoise and the Hare".