User:Apollo1758/project83

Welcome, folks!

Welcome to the Uncyclopedia Organ Donation Center, the only online website where you can donate your organs in real time! Just use PayPal, to ensure that no one steals your organs during the transaction. Please donate you organs. We need your organs really badly. Even if you can't donate your own organs, you could butcher organs from other people and donate them instead. If you don't donate organs, all seven of our children will die! Just kidding, take your time and tour our facility.

Step on in!

The Uncyclopedia Organ Donation Center has the latest in technology, and there is no waiting line. In fact, WE are the ones waiting for you. Getting your organs removed is quick and easy, and is as pain-free as getting your hair cut. The surgery bed is comfortable, and it is so comfortable, you will fall to sleep immediately once you rest your head on the pillow. We use the best surgeons in the world, and your surgery will feel as soothing as a day trip to the spa.

If you ever feel like donating, just go to the counter and type in the names of the organs you are donating on the computer. While you're waiting for your surgery, which will be about a minute depending on your internet connection, you even can play an interactive video game in which you pretend to be a surgeon and can cut people's organs out of their body. We accept organs from all donors, including babies, old people, and even some animals.

Come on, it's not that bad.

Getting your organs removed can actually feel relaxing after a hard day at work or school. It feels as good as getting your back scratched, and after surgery, you'll wake up totally refreshed.

You don't really need half of your organs

Yes, in fact you really don't need half of your organs. You don't really need your kidneys, liver, or any of your bones to survive. You don't need any eyes, and in fact, you don't need a penis. Sure, people would make fun of you for not having the most important symbol of manhood or being able to read this article, but there's people out in the world who have no eyes, and we'll give you a free, laminated copy of your favorite Uncyclopedia article to read if you donate an eye today.

You don't even need most of your brain

Another organ you can donate to us is your brain. It isn't possible to survive without a brain, but if you allow us to do a scan of your brain, we can determine what parts of your brain you need and what parts you don't need. We'll even give a brain scan to 25 of your family members for free! Getting rid of those unnecessary pieces of brain is beneficial to your health, and will help you lose those extra pounds. Donating a part of your brain also makes your brain more efficient, and after donating to us, you will be able to use up to 100% of your brain. People only use 10% of their brains, and if you donate 90% of your brain right now, you could save 9 babies from mental retardation.

Give us your organs, you're being selfish by not sharing them with us

Stop being so selfish, you arrogant American. For once in your life, think about someone other than yourself, like this poor Cambodian girl over here who stepped on a land mine wile she was walking to school, and needs a skin donation urgently. It doesn't even matter what color your skin is, so don't use being black as an excuse.

You might have two arms, but there's some people in the world who don't have any. Don't you feel guilty having all ten of your fingers when this boy over here from Mexico has only two, and they're both middle fingers? What kind of savage are you? You don't really need your ring finger. Besides, to be honest, you aren't ever getting married, and you won't ever need to wear a ring. And how could you say you need all 28 of your teeth?

You will never escape us, never

Don't even try and escape from us. We will bombard you with infomercials about why you should donate your organs.