User:Apollo1758/project73
Have you always been scared of that dangerous creature lurking in the corner of the room? Have you ever seen an adorable mountain lion and just wanted to keep it? Have you accidentally bought a cat only to realize you've accidentally purchased a full-sized mountain lion? If one of these are true, then this is the guide for you.
Making sure you have a mountain lion[edit | edit source]
It could sometimes be hard to distinguish between a mountain lion and other animals. To make sure it's really a mountain lion, go through this check list:
- Does it make a menacing growl or hissing noise every time you stare at it?
- Does its eyes glow in the dark while you try to sleep at night, and you know that glow definitely isn't your night light?
- Is it sneaking up behind you right now, about to butcher you apart with its dagger-shaped teeth?
If one of these are true, then you probably have a mountain lion on your hands, but still check to make sure. Check to see if it has claws sharper than a steak knife, a tail long enough to be a jump rope, or if it is currently walking around with the bloody head of a deer hanging from its mouth. Proceed to the next step once you have confirmed it is a mountain lion.
Getting the mountain lion to stop attacking you every time you come near it[edit | edit source]
If you're reading this article, there's a good chance the mountain lion is breathing on your shoulder. It probably is only a paw's length away, and is waiting for the opportunity to dig its claws into your hair until it's completely ripped out of your scalp. Just don't panic, because mountain lions only get more aggressive when they see you express your fear.
I need a long stick...[edit | edit source]
You probably realize if you want to survive another day, you better get something long and tough. Get some kind of pole to use for self defense, preferably of a heavy wood or metal. Just anything to keep the beast at bay. You could even use your belt, since even mountain lions don't like getting whipped with a belt. Make sure whatever long object you get isn't pointy, so you don't accidentally kill it.
Defending yourself from mountain lion attacks[edit | edit source]
No matter what you do, it is inevitable the mountain lion will attack you. In fact, 80% of the New York City mountain lion owners get attacked by their pet mountain lion, and 60% of those people get killed by it. Don't be one of those people!
If possible, take a martial arts course to prepare for the dangers of a mountain lion with a vengeance. Trust me, it will help you. Dealing with a mountain lion with a bed temper is a whole lot different than dealing with a spouse with a bad temper. Once a mountain lion starts attacking, there is no negotiating, and you're only option is to defend yourself.
Getting the mountain lion into a cage[edit | edit source]
Yeah, a cage sure would help. Get a cage large enough you could easily fit into it; just don't go into the cage to test it out. Mountain lions are smarter than you think.