User:Another n00b/Battle for Disneyland
| Date: April 21, 1930 - January 6, 1931 | |
| Place: Outskirts of Disneyland | |
| Outcome: Pyrric Coalition victory | |
| Combatants | |
|---|---|
| Coalition of Disneyland Forces, United Spades of Amerika | Pirates |
| Commanders | |
| Mickey Mouse the Great, Admiral Donald Duck, Lord Goofy, Field Generals Chip and Dale | Captain Jack Sparrow, Black Beard |
| Strength | |
| 50,300 Disney Characters, 2.5 Americans | 90 Ships, 600 men |
| Casualties | |
| 10,100 Disney Characters, .5 Americans | 89 ships, 502 men, and Black Beard |
The Battle for Disneyland was fought from 1930-1931 between Disney and a group of pirates. The battle resulted in Mickey Mouse the Great taking over Disneyland in its entirety, and pirates losing popularity in both politics and in the public in general.
Causes[edit | edit source]
In July of 1197 a heart grenade was thrown in to the chariot of Walt Disney by a young pirates enthusiast named Peter Pan. Walt Disney was subsequently killed, starting tensions between pirates and the people of Disneyland. Both parties began stockpiling nuclear weapons, in preparation for a large-scale war.
In 1930 a man named Mickey Mouse, a Communist, Nazi, and champion of the 1st Great Oil War, rose up as a leader among the starving Disney people. The people strongly doubted that this new leader would solve Disneyland's problems anymore than the last ten thousand did. So, in order to prove himself, Mickey had his SS officers (German for Screaming Sumos) attack a pirate port on the outskirts of the country. All the pirates were sent to Mauschwitz or executed on the spot. The very next day 90 pirate ships led by Jack Sparrow appeared at the horizon.
The Battle[edit | edit source]
A ship named the Black Pearl launched a nuclear warhead at Disney troops on April 21st, at 6:66 am. Emperor Mouse then ordered his Muppet lackeys to gather up his own nuclear warheads from Treasure island. The nuclear warheads having been acquired, Mickey ordered Admiral Donald Duck and Lord Goofy (a wacked out and war torn vet. of WWI) to launch the nukes from nuclear subs. This process continued until January 6th, the next year.
After the battle, Jack Sparrow stole away to the Caribbean to hide for the next 60 years, and the Disneyland troops were an unrivaled power in the world.
Result[edit | edit source]
Mickey Mouse the Great and Admiral Donald Duck assumed full control of Disneyland, charging immigrants to stay, and building great instruments of terror to destroy unwanted visitors (the building of these terror objects also increased the economy of Disneyland by providing jobs.)
The Pirates, during this time, created the PLO in hopes of promoting pirate nationalism. This later incited a series of battles after the 2010 death of Mickey the Great.
The events of the Battle for Disneyland are retold in the 1999 movie The Lord of the Rings by Peter Cottontail.