User:Alphabetsarecool/Alphabet Soup
Alphabet Soup was first discovered in a remote Patagonian cave just left of Chile and up a bit from the Andes. The lucky soul who made the discovery was a hairy old chap called Saint Nicholas. The aforementioned adventurer stumbled across the cave after getting a bit lost of the way to Mt. Kilamanjaro. He had been travelling for several lightyears, during which he had worked up quite an appetite, so was most glad to encounter a large bucket full of soup on his arrival. After using a prehistoric microwave which was at the back of the cave to heat the bucket,he decided that this was indeed fate. A few seconds later, after guzzling down the entire bucket in one rather large gulp, Saint Nick was startled to find several alphabet-related items just chilling at the bottom of the bucket. Sanit Nick theorised that the cave had originally been the home of a prehistoric people who just happened to have invented the alphabet, and who decided to use the letters for food instead of anything else which may have been more useful, like. Not wishing to waste any potential nutritional nuggets, Nick wolfed down the alphabet almost as quickly as he had the soup. The soup tasted so awesome Nick decided that he had to share his discovery with the world. Naturally he realised that the most effective way of doing this would be to send a telegram to Her Royal Highness the Right Honourable Queen Elizabeth the Twenty-Ninth. Upon receiving the telegram she promptly had a heart-attack and died, thus ensuring that the soup was infamous throughout the world. Nick was regretful that the soup had gathered such a negative reputation, but was nevertheless glad that it's awesomeness was now accessible to all and sundry.