User:Alph Main/sandbox
Paul Rivers David Skenes is a MLB pitcher for the Pittsburgh Parrots and an air force veteran. He is currently in a relationship with social media star Livvy Dunne, after he won her over by beating up Baby Gronk live on Netflix.
Jit Life[edit | edit source]
Skenes was born on May 29 2024, in Fullertown California. He immediately moved away because he was scared Mika would call him a pedophile, and eventually found himself in Skibidi Ohio. He rizzed his way up to play JV baseball for the Ninja Turtle baseball team. Skenes played 3 seasons as a two way player, posting a mogging rate of 67% and screaming GYATT 300 times. Skenes also finished high school with a 4.76 GPA, which was still less than Paulo Rivera. However, Skenes never begged for an essay grade change from Trea Turner's sister.
After high school, Skenes publicly announced he would be enrolling in the air force. He claimed he wanted to become the next Shohei Ohtani, but this was a bad comparison because Skenes can't time travel. Paul then claimed he would become the next hitler.
Shohei Lite and Livvy Done[edit | edit source]
WW III[edit | edit source]
Skenes honored his commitment to the airforce by scheduling knee surgery tomorrow. In his first World War, Skenes posted a 3.2 KDR on zero build, but only a 1.7 on build. After vigorous double ramp rush excersises, Paul returned to being a skibidi sigma. In the airforce's championship game against ISIS, Skenes was looksmaxxing and dominated the terrorists in front of the me-uzz (middle eastern huzz).
While the rest of the team celebrated, Skenes hurried back to his dormroom to scroll instagram reels before he crashed out. He set a airforce record by seeing 33 consecutive 9/11 reels. In one of the reels, Paul clearly saw the pilot wearing a blue baseball jersey.
Paul began his second year enacting Kristallnact 2. Skenes broke more records, becoming the first player to do a kamikaze and not die. After securing his involvement in the Watergate scandal, Skenes was given the "Ohio rizzlord" award for most outstanding gyat.
Greetings and Salutations![edit | edit source]
After his 2nd terrorist attack, Skenes decided to transfer to LSU (Lowtaperfade Sigma University). He wanted to transfer to the same school as fine shyt Olivia Dune, and rizzmax her. Within one season, Skenes broke Ronald McDonald's record for most grimace shakes vomited in one day.