User:Alph Main/sandbox

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Pre Credits Scene[edit | edit source]

Shohei Ohtani sits in his prison cell, thinking of submarines as he jerks his weiner. While he was able to get away with many war crimes in 1944, he was finally arrested after stealing trillions of dollars from his interpreter. The guards came and interrupted his pleasuring session, telling him he had a visitor. Ohtani was sent to the visitation room to see the Brunette Barista. She explained to him quietly that she finally made a coffee that can teleport them to another dimension. Ohtani was thrilled, screaming out loud how happy he was to go kill more people. The guards sent him back to his cell afterwards, but the barista told Ohtani he wouldn't be there much longer.

Shohei began to pull out his submarine pics again, but suddenly the sprinklers went off. Water wasn't coming out though, it was Petrol. Guards started shouting "INTRUDER" as laser beams were being fired at them. Ohtani peaked his head out to see Cyber-Titties using his "missile launcher" to blow up the guards. His bulletproof robotic shell deflected all the bullets, and soon enough every guard was down. Titties scooped up Shohei romantically, and activated his hover jets as he flew him out of the prison.

Worlds Collide[edit | edit source]

The B Team[edit | edit source]

In the 2025 all sex game, Brandon Nimmo was popping off because Trump won again. Although he was joyous beyond belief, he couldn't handle Tim Anderson and his "fried chicken" baseball bat. well well well. As the honorary shitty player in the all sex game, Javy Baez smacked a few nuts before chasing after a "Gorlock the Destroyer." Ultimately though, the MVP of the all sex game was Kike Hernandez, after he impregnated all his bros. After the game though, President Duran came and informed the shitters of a looming danger. He pulled up a Instagram Reel filmed on Earth 2, showing the crook Wander Franco licking kids in their no-no area. Duran chose these 4 players because they were expendable.

After being promised a republican, kool aid drinking, partially homo, 3/10, the squad agreed to go to Earth 2 and seduce Wander. With one swing of the magic bat, Duran sent them to the negative dimension. Kike moaned during the teleportation process.

Duran prays for the B team, hoping they don't get attacked by homos.

The hunt begins[edit | edit source]

4 milliseconds after sending the shitters away, Duran gets a call from his wife Nika Muhl. She yells at him saying "N*gger! There's people at the white house for you." Jarren returned to the white house to see Shohei Ohtani 2, The Brunette Barista, Cyber Titties, and Brent Rooker waiting for him. Rooker isn't evil, he's just there cuz he has nothing better to do. Ohtani informs Duran that they are trying to kill Earth 1's anchor being. Halfway through their conversation, Nika tells them to take it outside so she can call her friend and help her cheat.

After taking it outside, Ohtani tells Duran that their anchor being is Ben. Jarren has no clue who tf Ben is, but he tells Ohtani he isn't letting his asian ass kill anyone. Sadly, the Brunette Barista did research. She exclaimed "We'll let Ben live, unless you happen to be a dancing alligator." Jarren screamed "NOOO" before turning into a crocodile and busting out a move. The squad began searching for Ben, but Nika Muhl overheard and called in the "A Team" to help her find Ben first.

Wandering around Earth 2[edit | edit source]

A day at Doggy Stadium[edit | edit source]

The B team arrived in Dogshitter stadium, confused that the Doggers were so terrible. They spent the next 2 hours watching the doggers game, and Kike even spotted his doppelganger playing. Sadly, he was frusturated that his alternate self was grabbing pussy instead of penises. After some time, Tim Anderson got the urge to steal so he went to the Dogger team store. As he was looting, he spotted a camera pointed at him. He quickly realized Wander Franco and Jose Siri found them, so he looted even faster.

Javy Baez kept telling Brandon Nimmo "hear me out," but Nimmo kept yelling they were femboys. Kike Hernandez lost his temper when he saw his doppelganger make out with a woman instead of Mookie Betts. He rage quit and left the stadium, but shortly afterwards Tim Anderson ran back with Watermelon in his mouth. well well well. He yelled "They know were here!" The first Batman villain arrived as Poison Ivy infiltrated Dogger stadium. She began putting her vines up the dodger players tips.

Kike saves the day, doing what he does best.

Brandon Nimmo grabbed his Captain America shield and charged at Poison Ivy. She countered by saying "I voted Kamala," giving Nimmo a panic attack on the spot. Javy Baez tried using telekinesis to send her flying, but his massive erection was messing with his aim. He instead launched Julio Urias on accident, leaving him in worse shape than when his wife beats him. Baez started to use his phasing to distract Ivy, and hoping Anderson could get himself a felony. She brought out the grape vines, leaving Tim longing for kool aid. well well well. Javy was left vulnerable, allowing Ivy to tell him "you look lonely." Baez reached terminal RyanGosling-itis.

Before his bro's could get seduced by the dommy mommy, Kike returned with the one thing that could stop a plant lady. He unleashed the lawn mower onto the field, like usual, and watched Ivy get shredded to pieces. 20 of the 26 Doggers also got shredded, leading to the team needing to be disbanded. Kike passionately made out with Nimmo and Baez, because they owed him one. He settled for a handshake with Tim Anderson.

As the B team exited the stadium, Earth 2 Chrid Taylor approached them and asked to join their crusade. Taylor JUST KNOWS that Paulo Rivera is a "Freshman Finesser," and wanted to find evidence from a Wander Party.

2 corners challenge[edit | edit source]

After using a rift to go, the 5 shitters reached the mega island where the grotto was. Before they went to the Grotto, Brandon Nimmo wanted to investigate the Shark because he suspected undocumented immigrants taking asylum there. His illegal-radar was correct, so he began gassing the Shark. Javy stayed at the shark, but Kike and Chrid Taylor wanted to visit the yacht for a "platonic" date. Tim Anderson went with them so he could get out of facetiming his kids. well well well.

Nimmo after preventing the devilish act of baby killing.

Javy Baez roamed the shark, hoping to find the giant inflatable Ice Spice. He didn't realize its not there because this is the good shark, not the shitty one. What Baez did encounter tho was Harley Quinn, who was literally holding a gun and spiked bat. Javy ignored the red flags, and went in for a kiss before getting a stage 7 concussion. After throwing the last immigrant into the ocean, Nimmo rushed to aid his horny ahh friend. Brandon and Harley got into a long range gun fight, but Nimmo had the edge with his golden scar. Nimmo deemed it "very necessary" he keeps an AR in his child's bedroom. With Harleen weak, Javy Baez woke up from his concussion and impregnated her. She didn't want to carry this horrid players baby, so she tried getting an abortion but Nimmo wouldnt let her. She exploded from the miscarriage.

Anderson blames others for his crime. well well well.

Kike kept trying to seduce Chrid Taylor on the Yacht, but Taylor was too busy trying to find a nuke to shoot at UC Berkely. Anderson was deathly afraid of falling off the boat, as he didn't know how to swim. Suddenly, Bane entered the room yelling who stole his chicken and waffles. I wonder who. Kike tried touching Bane's muscles but he got punched off the yacht. A group of sexy pirate ladies quickly saved him from the ocean. Chrid Taylor noticed the blood tubes on Bane's testicle, and it made him come up with an idea. He told Anderson to go cut Banes tubes, as Taylor once tried to do to Paulo Rivera during an EHS blood drive. Anderson pulled a shank out of his pocket and charged Bane. well well well. Tim got down real low, and SEVERED CONNECTIONS on Bane's tubes making him go flaccid.

Coming for Ben[edit | edit source]

Protect the President ahhh[edit | edit source]

Fernando Titties Jr, Manny Machado, and Juan Gary Soto play Smash Bros 6 in the Padres sex dungeon. Titties and Machado are double teaming Soto, furious that he let the Dodgers win a world series. Soto, playing as Jonesy from FN, was able to win the 1v2, and he celebrated with an avocado shower. Titties got a call on his built-in apple watch from Nika Muhl, and the trio were told they needed to go find Ben and make sure he comes. Machado told them he once beat up Ben at Orioles park, so they set off for Baldimore.

The group arrived at Baltimore in a record 530 days, as Titties insisted they rode a motorcycle the whole way. They investigated Orioles stadium until they found a room called "Oman's Wacky Wahoo Place." They opened the door and saw Ben, coming. Soto tried warning Ben that he was in grave danger, but Ben ignored him and started playing Clash Royale. Manny raged, threatening to turn off the wifi in Orioles Park. Titties intervened, as he might also turn off. Fernando used a built in speaker to blast the KSI song in Orioles Stadium, and it was so horrid Ben finally got up and started to leave.

The squad gathered their avocados and motorcycle porn as they prepared to leave, but they got attacked by Ohtani 2 and his goons. This started an epic 4v4 brawl, although it was more of a 3v3 as Brent Rooker also had CR and just did duos with Ben.

Doppelshitter fight[edit | edit source]

Titties stared in awe at Cyber-Titties, as he one day hoped to be as robotic as him. Titties jumped on top of his cyber-counterpart, trying to pry off motorcycle parts for himself. Cyber Titties used many of his advanced technology, including his turbo jets to fly high into the air. Fernando pulled a rearview mirror out his ass and tried attacking robo Titties with it, but it wouldn't even penetrate his ass. Cyber Titties began activating his petrol dispenser, causing Fernando to start slipping off him. With not much time left, Titties noticed the Ringworm Radiation energy source on Cyber Titties belly button. Fernando pulled out the ringworm medicine he stored next to all his steroids, and injected it into Cyber Titties energy source. Cyber Titties completely crashed out, and they both fell 40K meters. Cyber Titties only landed on the 50 minute IL. Thank god he wasn't on Petco Park.

Washington crosses the Delaware, 1776.

Although Manny was able to hold his own against blondes, he became a dog with Brunettes. The barista threw a coffee at Machado that turned his penis into a vagina. Manny got the urge to finger himself, but he locked in and fought back. He supports equal rights. The barista struggled against Machado, who was punching her harder than Aroldis Chapman punches his wife. She drank another coffee that made her fully metal, now being able to counter his Gaive Dominicus attacks. Sadly, she raged when Manny called in 72 cash drops and placed THE GOATED Beast Handler. The Megaladon devoured the barista, and took her far enough away so that Machado could finally finger himself.

Ohtani 2 used his naval training to beat up Soto, and then he proceeded to step on his avocados. Before Juan could vomit, Ohtani 1 appeared out of nowhere and punched Ohtani 2. The two got their hats tangled, and when Ohtani 1 time travelled so did Ohtani 2. Soto knew he had to follow them, so he took a selfie and jerked off to it hoping it would make him time travel. It thankfully worked, and Soto ended up in the 1770's with Ohtani 2. As they were right in the middle of the American Revolution, Soto bottom fragged with George Washington as they fought against Ohtani's submarine. Ohtani tried his best to resist the urge, but he couldn't and started jerking it in the submarine. This allowed Soto to shoot an avocado torpedo at him, blowing up the whole continent. With the American Heroes watching, Soto jerked off to himself again to go back to the present.

Titties Manny and Soto returned from their fights, only to see Ben had left. They confronted Brent Rooker, who said Ben won his cr match so he just let him leave. He got it HARD from the back.