User:AlexLight
"My god, he looks just like me! Poor man.
Alex Light on Himself
"Who is that ugly cockface?!
Alex Light on Himself
"Leave! Quickly it might eat you!"
Oscar Wilde on Alex Light
"I pity the fool who likes this dude!"
Mr T on Alex Light
"He cant get enough of my lower end"
George the Cheese on the Toast on Alex Light
"Why did I employ him? I needed a good person to make my cheese on toast, unfortunately he ate me, but i eat all the cheese on toast he eats from his stomache, it's tasty!"
The Unfortunate Kitten on Alex Light
About Him[edit | edit source]
Alex Light is a male with the approximate age of 13 years and 4 months, he enjoys a large amount cheese on toast, when the creature makes his cheese on toast he puts bread in the toaster, huffs the whole toaster, thus speeding up the process, after that, because his mum wont let him use the oven because the last time he did he caused a big fire in the kitchen, he places it in the microwave complete with cheese for 30 seconds , usually two pieces, this is what his diet mainly consists of during school holidays when his mum is at work. He likes cheese on toast.
A typical alex, beware do not approach.
General Information[edit | edit source]
Height - 5ft 8
Age - 13
Gender - Male
Hair Size - Big
Attribute Size - Massive
Favourite Drink - Flamented Horse Urine
Would be Most Likely to Say - What the fucking hell is that fucking monstrosity! Oh it's you.
Number of Girlfriends - -3
Best moment of Life - Birth
Alex has been explelled from school, once for a period of 3 days, he was expelled because he said nasty things about his most despised teacher on his shitty website. He paid the price.
Alex also despises Apple, mostly the iPod, he thinks they should go and find themselfs a nice, comfy, warn space in his anus.
Country and Company[edit | edit source]
Alex is a joint director of Exospace Corporation,a company that makes presentations and stuffm, they have a website and myspace, the myspace was made by Alex, it is the best myspace ever it is here click this bitch He is also the prime minister of the micronation of New Rhylandia, formerly known as Rhyland. He is also widely believed to have no brain at all by his citizens.
Other Random Shit[edit | edit source]
He plays the guitar, quite well in fact, he likes grunge music and rock music, his favourite bands are Muse, The Rolling Boulders, Suicidal Emo, Tenacious D, Led Zeppelin, Cheese on Toast. Alex lives in what he calls his hole, it used to be a bedroom, but it is reffered to as a hole because it is holey, dirty, cramped and full of horse shit and general human shit that he has ammased over the years.
Alex is also known by the names of:
Mophead
Rocker
Pillock
Mr UmBongo
The Allmighty Kitten Huffer
George W. Bush
Guitar Man
Technica
Plum Pudding
Osama Bin Laden
Nob Head
Noob
Mr Inapropriate
Tenacious B
The Ultimate Cockface
Half-Overlord Prime Minister Alex Light of New Rhylandia and Exospace with Honours
Computers[edit | edit source]
Alex aqquired an acer 4050Lmi laptop equipped with wifi a 40 terabyte pepsi can, 256mb of Bill gates and a teenage slut. it blew up so he aqquired a computer in december 2006, by the end of december, he had fucked up the windows operating system after he upgraded his 1gb Bill Gates to a 2gb Steve Jobs, an evil ipod started to destroy all of his files he was forced to go to the Jewbuntu linux operating system, the only operating system in the world that claims to be free of virus' and catholics, God uses jewbuntu, he is special. Unfortunately after an accident involving a teenage slut, a pink elephant and a usb hub, the computer died so he replaced it again with the one he nicked from comet. Unfortunately, he was then..."excluded" from school and they stole it off him for the computer rooms. The, the police got wind, they stole it from the school, the mafia stole it from the police because they needed something with more "oompf" then, Comet stole it from the mafia and all was well with the world.
Summary[edit | edit source]
Alex is writing this article from hell he was sent there after he let a catholic on Jewbuntu he and the catholic have had there appendage cut off. It hurt. He speaks Klingon, badly. He only knows insults. This is fitting. He is sad. No-one likes to see a sad person so no-one looks at him.