User:Adka85/Mark Webber
Mark Webber[edit | edit source]
Mark Webber, or as he's known in the pit-lane "Parp Webber" is a famous Australian Racing Driver and Flatulist.
Being lactose intolerant Mark always had problems with shitting himself when growing up. He discovered later in life that although his intolerance to dairy was always going to be an issue but it didn't have to result in endless streams of diarrhea, instead he learned to create great gusts of farts.
Unlike most lactose intolerants Mark Webber chose to embrace his digestive system, even going so far as to advertise for a Milk manufacturer. Mark Webber's Milk Advert
Most people think that the majority of the fumes around an F1 track are caused by Mark Webber's arse and not by Formula One cars, these people are completely right.
Mark Webber's car has been given a special DRS system that allows wind to pass over Mark's rear wing giving him a bigger boost than most drivers on the race track
Famous Quotes[edit | edit source]
Let's leave some skid marks!
Vettel may be on pole, but my bottom's just created a hole [in my trousers]
The Bernie Ecclestone Incident[edit | edit source]
On Bernie's 417th Birthday all of the F1 Royalty, Several Hollywood A-listers and Dean Gaffney were invited round to his house to celebrate and have a dip in Bernie's new swimming pool. Many of the guests were already in the pool enjoying themselves, Bernie had returned after changing from his romper suit into his a pair of over-stuffed speedos.
"I'd best turn on the jacuzzi jets" said Bernie as he walked towards the pool, now sporting a generous errection.
"The jets are already on" shouted Nico Rosberg
But the jets weren't on, it was merely Mark's parps bubbling away under the surface.
Bernie then gave Mark a sixteen minute bollocking refering to him as a "no-good trouser trumper". Mark immediately got sick of this, turned around and farted ecclestone's wig off.
He is no longer allowed to come within twenty seven metres of Bernie or his property.
Reliabilty Issues[edit | edit source]
Formula One drivers often have to cope with reliability issues, whether they be failing brakes or gearbox issues, but it's very unusual for the PA / musical system to fail and the drivers on the podium to be celebrated and presented their trophies without their national anthems playing. Mark Webber immediately stepped up to the plate and graciously took the microphone from David Coulthard's hand to his arse and blasted out the aussie anthem.
The crowd were so over-awed by this that they immediately promoted him from 14th to 1st giving him 25 additional points in the championship. David Coulthard is still convinced that his hand "smells funny".