User:02barryc/UnNews2

N.B. This is a more IRC-feely version -- This is not rigourously spell checked!

Good Evening, the time is 12:00 GMT and Welcome to the UnNews Midight Bulletin!
I'm BarryC, your presenter for tonight,
Today's date is May 6th/7th
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On UnNews today our headlines are:
Collection Synchronizations Expands Secure Donut Shredding Services
Explosive Diarrhea epidemic sweeps Universe
Mexico Declares "Seis De Mayo" a National Holiday
New Guinea blamed for Tsunami panic in New Zealand
Christian Chiropractors will crack for Jesus
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Our highlighted article for tonight:
New Guinea blamed for tsunami panic in New Zealand
Tribes in New Guinea have been blamed for causing a prank Tsuanmi alert, after a tribesman blew a tremendous fart, whilst at a
party, measuring 7.8 on the Richter TAMBR.
To exacerbate matters,
the tribesman then phoned into the local network, warning of an imeding disaster
The story was passes on to Fox, who, wired tapped by rivals CNN, had their scoop stolen
They then spent the next 5 hours squabling over who owned the story
and consequently, wasted so much time that it finally occured to them that nothing had ahppened
Fortunatlely, it was a false alarm even in kiwi land and nobody lost their heads.
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Taking a look at other news sources now:
The Headlines are:
British troops clash in Basra, Iraq over a crashed helicopter
Bush denies he squeezes out the Ex-CIA Chief
The Anglican Church has again dodged the issue of Gay bishops
Brazil has gone nuclear
and UK Minister Tessa Jowel's husband, David mils says he will clear his wife;s name
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Taking a look at the weather over tommorow:
Its going to be sunny on the pacific
Sunny/Overcast on the East coast
And it will be raining in Liverpool tommorow
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That's all for now, I'm BarryC and that was the inaugral UnNews Bulletin.