User:*GOD*
I AM GOD. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. That's kind of redundant there, Yahweh. I who created the world have chosen to grace Uncyclopedia with my presence!
Hey, even the omnipotent diety of the multiverse needs to have some fun now and then!
About me[edit | edit source]
Well, I suppose there isn't much to say that hasn't already been said millions of time by people wearing nightgowns. I am a single father raising a 2000 year old kid. I have been aroud abuot... 14 or 15 billion years now, so I have seen quite a lot. I enjoy drinking Pina Coladas, and love laughing to myself at the mental disorders my most devout followers seem to have. And by the way, might I ask you, <insert name here>, why you are reading my page? It's a bit unusual watching you read about me, do you mind?
Ah, never mind, moving on. I am here if you have any burning questions. Just letting you know, I don't care about sports, so don't pray to me for a particular team to win, and I don't really care for you screaming "Oh GOD!" while testing things out with your significant other. It is really a bit... arkward... when I rush over to see what is going on and see... ah, yeah.
There are things I do worry and care about. I watch the children suffering in Darfur, and can't help but shed a tear. It is, admissibly, irritating, knowing you are the supreme diety of the universe, yet having to watch a child die because of the free will you implanted into your favourite creation.
With that out of the way, I, GOD, am happy to be here, and am ready to help out with whatever needs helping.