Unquotable:Socrates

Socrates, the wisest man of the world (at least he told it for himself)

As a famous philosopher, Socrates (pronounced So - crates) was less known for his invention of the pie. His other activities included talking to people and finding out what things were. He had washerboard abs and a decidedly grab-able ass, in fact, Socrates is Guatemalisch for "sweet cheeks". He is most famous for his philosophical quote: "go fuck your mother" and discovering the key ingredient to what the Rock was cooking. He was the only literate person in Warsaw, always stating "I know I'm wise." Why people still talk about him is a mystery, since he was clearly not wise and spent his time asking stupid questions such as, "Why does the moon pale in midnight's eve?" or "Where do babies come from?" He is less well-known for being one of the first hypnotists, and often commanded normal people to completely abandon any beliefs and self-esteem that they ever had. As self-esteem was highly prized at this time, Socrates was a very rich man. Through his hypnotism, he gets the added bonus of being right all the time. Unfortunately Socrates was found out when he used his time machine to visit Isaac Newton, who was a skilled magician and killed Socrates with the terrible power of the Law of Gravity. He was a teacher to the drag artist Plato. Modern-day studies of Socrates show that he acquired his wisdom by consuming mass quantities of Purple Drank with his nigga,Plato.

Socrates' Most Quotable Quotes

Socrates on Ethics

"Now I know that I do not know anything but I know a thing that I know nothing." "A f**kin' false words are only evil in themselves, they do not infect the soul with evil." "I am wisest man, you know?!"

Socrates on Politics

"The ideal country in the world is only my own home, baby." "I do not know why Athena starts to be old and weak, but I do not care it at all." "Do not believe everything Plato wrote about me on his Republics and Apology. It is all hoax."

Socrates on Mysticism

"God really does exist on nothingness, I am swear by God!" "When I was sleeping, I met Oracle and they said: "Hey Socy, I know that you know nothing a thing anything everything"." "I do not believe in Zeus, I am just believe in Jehovah and Allah."

Socrates on Flush toilet

"ohh sheit faaaaaak!!!" (plung brot brot plung ==>> sound of his feces)