University of Waterloo
The University of Waterloo is a university in Waterloo, Belgium Ontario. One of its most distinguished features at its campus is the fact that there are a lot of freakin' geese. They are very friendly and elegant and give the campus grounds a distinctive charm, but one of their immediate drawbacks is that they excrete an extraordinary amount of goose shit. This makes navigating around campus extremely difficult as you'd be constantly bending your head down and keeping an eye on their poop so you don't step on them.
The university is also well-known for its Department of Mathematics, which is one of the best in the world. As math is a very difficult subject, math students often find themselves in a tough spot as they have to constantly avoid geese shit and think about math problems simultaneously. Thus, Waterloo alumni are found to be adept in the fine art of looking-out-for-goose-shit-and-having-philosophical-thoughts-at-the-same-time[1].
Outreach[edit | edit source]
The university is notable for hosting math, physics, and chemistry contests for local high school students. Each contest requires a fee of Can$ 10.00[2] in order to register. This makes it blatantly obvious that the university is not only torturing people with the hardest math problems, but also trying to make a quick Canadian buck off of their pain and agony.
Admissions[edit | edit source]
Perhaps the most infamous part of the University of Waterloo is that it is hard as geese shit to get admitted into the undergraduate Computer Science and Software Engineering programs. It is required to maintain an average IQ over 95 in order to obtain even a freakin' chance at getting accepted, on top of having a goose-butt-load of extracurricular activities. Thus, applicants are often very stressed out about admissions and visit the university's subreddit and talk to other applicants as if they're having a next-level therapy session.
In addition to the subreddit, applicants may also request (for a Can$ 10.00 fee) the advice of the University of Waterloo's Department of Astrology, which analyzes undergrad admissions chances every year. As a last resort, applicants may choose to pray to the Almighty Goose God, which is rumoured to give them a 10% boost to their admission chances.