Uncyclopedia:The Laws of Uncyclopedia
History[edit source]
After escaping from the land of Egypt with the Juice (today known as the Jews), Moses climbed to the top of Mount Horeb where he collected the Ten Commandments from Gawd. However, when he arrived back at the encampment of the Juice, he found that they had engaged in the worship of golden idols because they had nothing else to do. When Moses saw that the Juice were worshiping golden idols instead of Gawd, he got really pissed, and threw the stone tablets, which the Ten Commandments were engraved on, down upon the ground where they broke into hundreds of pieces. However, as the stone tablets which originally compsed the Ten Commandments broke into thousands of pieces on the ground, the pieces became reorganized into a new set of laws. This is the origin of the Uncyclopedian Laws.
Adherence[edit source]
The Laws of Uncyclopedia must be followed at all times. Such is the oath of all Unnish people. Those who do not follow these laws are no better than the filthy Wikipedians or are Wikipedian spies and will be susequently fed to Grues.
The Laws[edit source]
Thou Shalt Not Follow The Code Of The Wikipedians[edit source]
The Wikipedians are unholy enemy of the Uncyclopedians. To follow their blasphemous code is to be an enemy. The Wikipedians worship a pagan Gawd named Nolij. All blasphemous followers of Nolij must be destroyed for the sake of the world.
Thou Shalt Not Promote Wikipedia[edit source]
Because Wikipedia sucks.
Thou Shalt Huff Kittens[edit source]
Kitten Huffin is an important tradition of the Unnish culture. All true Uncyclopedians have huffed Kittens at least one in their lifetime. However, the experts of Uncyclopedia recommend a good Kitten Huffing at least two to three times per day.
Thou Shalt Not Divide By Zero[edit source]
If you divide by zero, you may cause a massive cataclysm in which you blast a whole through the space-time continuum, which will either cause the earth to explode, then implode, and the explode a second time, or it will cause the Universe to get sucked through the hole into an alternate dimmension in which everything also happens to explode.
The Call To Arms Thou Shalt[edit source]
Grab your sword and fight the (Wikipedian) horde!
Thou Shalt Not Question The Emblem Of Uncyclopedia[edit source]
Do not try to find out what the emblem of Uncyclopedia it. Whether it is a potato or an egg doth not matter, and why it looks like it is made of puzzle pieces with a missing part is inimportant in the grand scheme of things. For some however, the emblem may represent eternal hellfire, because it is exactly where they are headed once they raise an eyebrow at the holy symbol of Uncyclopedia.
Thou Shalt Lose The Game[edit source]
Well, the Laws of Uncyclopedia cannot demand that we do NOT lose the game, because then we would always break the law, and susbesquently be fed to Grues. Therefore, it is demanded that you lose the game, because if you just lost the game, it is probably because you were just reading the Laws like a good Uncyclopedian.
- The Writer of this article has just been sacked for making you lose the game.
Other Laws[edit source]
These are but a tiny few of the many laws given to the Uncyclopedians. More have yet to be recorded here.