Uncyclopedia:Team of angry developers

Uncyclopedia is maintained by a team of angry developers.

See, look:

NOTICE: The customer (or user) is not always right. Often, the customer (or user) is a clueless moron. If this notice upsets you, you are the moron.

Why are the developers angry?

• Imagine you have a cat. No, not one of those ugly hairless cats, a proper cat with pretty colors in its fur.
• Give the cat a direct order, like "Eat your spinach" or "Don't sleep in the bathroom sink" or "Stop giving me that judgmental look when I masturbate to furry porn."
• Did the cat follow the order? Unless your imagination is particularly self-serving, it did not. This is because cats are awful at following directions. Bloody, bloody awful.
• Now imagine you have 227 cats. You have so many cats, you have to build separate facilities to manage them, and they produce so much poop, you have to build separate facilities to manage it. Also, 227 might not seem like a lot, but you used to have tens of thousands of cats, and you still have a lot of their poop left over.
• Your cat storage facility is open to the public. It's very rare that an actual person will visit, though. Mostly you get wildlife and bugs. Lots of bugs. Bugs up the wazoo, infecting your storage facilities and causing as much trouble as possible. So many bugs. Do you see where I'm going with this?
• It becomes your full-time job to take care of your cats, deal with their poop, and fight the bugs as best you can.
• You begin missing important events like PTA meetings, job interviews, court appearances, and new episodes of Futurama. All because you're taking care of your cats, and their poop, and all the bugs. Really, the analogy should be quite clear by now.
• Your life is consumed by these tasks. Your hair falls out. Holes appear in your body. On the occasions when you get sleep, you converse with this guy in your dreams, to keep your sanity. You think. You hope.
• But honey, why can't we just call the neighbors and ask? It's called four-nication for a reason!
• Despite the terrible cycle of your new life, a small part of you fights back. It yells. It screams. It bangs pots together with your head between them. It doesn't want to put up with all this nonsense, and by golly, it's mad. This madness becomes you, and you become it.
• For those of you who are still on "Uncyclopedia is run by...", the cats are users. Uncyclopedia users. You. The storage facilities are servers, and we all know what the poop is. If you don't, here's a piece for you to sample.
• Bugs are bugs.
• Uncyclopedia developers have the terrible, horrible job of cleaning up after you and, more importantly, minimizing the impacts of the messes you make. They are forever as angry as the most passionately raging barbarian, or your average New York driver. Do them a nice favor and avoid disturbing them unless your face is melting off and they are known to possess the only Potion of Cure Face Melting Off known to exist.