Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/September 1

The tyrants that maintain Wikipedia as a non-democratic and anti-free-speech website have deleted your last hopes of being remembered after you die. Should you hurry up and commit suicide already? Nay! For where there is hope, there is a way. Follow these guidelines, and it is 23% GUARANTEED that someone will care that you slit your wrists next week. Or at least until they find the body.

Prepare your article. Make sure to include what is so great about you, possibly a photograph, and maybe your website or blog if you have one. Quotes are also good.

Try it, you never know. Hey, it worked for Bob Saget. (Full article...)