Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/October 4

Telephone poles are long, vertical pieces of wood, erected on roadsides by the government to teach bad drivers a lesson. They were first conceptualized in 1911 by British inventor Leonard Telephonepole, during his stay in the United States. Telephonepole, apparently disgusted with American motorists for, as he put it, "driving on the wrong bloody side of the road," was seeking a more efficient means to cockslap inconsiderate drivers, which at the time had to be done either by telegraph, or by the rapidly disappearing Pony Express, both of which charged extremely high prices for their cockslapping services. Telephonepole wanted driving to be the great equalizer, so that not even the rich would be free to drive however they wanted without fear of being the victims of random acts of road-rage-inspired violence. (Full article...)