Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/October 27

Hi, there. I like the fact that you’re reading this.

I really do.

You see, I wrote this article on creepiness hoping that someone like yourself would stumble across it. Creepiness, incidentally, is the art of acting in a subtle way that makes someone feel eerily uneasy. Creeps pride themselves in their ability to elicit discomfort from people such as yourself. I should know.

Do you mind if I’m honest with you? I find it a bit of a – well, a turn on, actually - that you’re reading something I have written. It’s kind of intimate, don’t you think? Not, of course, like the intimacy you experienced recently with your partner or that one night stand you're beginning to regret because you're worried about STDs. There surely isn't any danger in reading this article, right? It's not like I'm going to seek you out or anything.

Well... maybe the "anything." ;-} (Full article...)