Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/May 9

Welcome to Uncyclopedia's article on Lobsters, the lobster of articles on lobsters (not as fun as the Stephen Colbert of articles on lobsters: "Lobsters" on Wookiepedia). In deciding to look up lobsters on Uncyclopedia, you have given us an idea of what you're looking for in life. Had you looked up "Lobster" on the now infamous Lobsterpedia, we would figure you have some kind of lobster fetish. "Lobster" on Wikipedia, and you must be an oceanographer. "Lobster" on Uncyclopedia? What the hell were you expecting? What are you doing with your time? You bring shame to the famed lobster article of Uncyclopedia! Let's begin. (Full article...)