Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/March 16

Hi there. Take a seat. Have a biscuit. A digestive, maybe? Chocolate Hob nob? The choice is entirely yours. Don't let me pressure you. Don't even have a biscuit if you don't want one. It matters not one jot to me, so long as you are comfortable and happy. Tell you what, forget the biscuit. Pretend it never happened. I'm truly sorry I even brought it up. If I could make the world biscuit-free, just for you, I would - but heck, I'm just a cop on a salary. My influence on the biscuit industry is pretty limited.

So, today, we are going to discuss the Good cop/Bad cop interrogation technique. Would you like that? Great! Let's get started. For this technique, you need two cops, a small room and a suspect - that's you! I'm good cop and I want to be your friend. Would you like to be my friend? Let's be friends. Now that we are two friends in one room, we can learn about interrogation techniques.

Ok, before we go any further, I want to introduce you to my partner, Bad cop. Now, I think it is only fair to warn you that while Bad cop is a dedicated, fair and hardworking guy, he can sometimes be a tiny weenie little bit, well, how can I put this... psychotic? (Full article...)