Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/June 19

Rough Gay Wolf Sex is the most popular form of hazing used by high-school and collegiate sports teams and fraternities in the continental United States. A prospective inductee must mount and copulate with a fully grown alpha-male wolf at the peak of its sexual heat to prove that they are worthy of gently tossing a ball around every Saturday morning or coughing up a mouthful of mid-strength lager drunk straight from a communal keg.

The ritual was established to initiate young soldiers into military life, as a serviceman was very unlikely to leave the force out of fear for what the brass would make him do after having him penetrate a wolf for merely joining. The extremely dangerous, overtly sexual and psychologically damaging nature of the ritual made it a perfect male bonding activity, and it has entered into most parts of popular culture where men who walk around in gym shorts and call themselves "coach" can be found pushing youth to the limits of ability and legality. (Full article...)