Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/January 1

Alternative medicine is a broad term describing those things which differ from actual medicine, which is hopelessly unhip and square. There are many fields of alternative medicine. None of them are quite as healthy as you putting the bong down and getting some fresh air and exercise, but what are the odds of that happening?

An offshoot of acupuncture, inacupuncture differs from its parent discipline in that acupuncturists believe in lines of invisible force called chi which flow throughout the body, whereas inacupuncturists believe in jabbing people with sharp objects. Many people swear by this technique, saying that after people have finished jabbing them, they begin to feel much better. In recent years, some inacupuncturists have experimented with long distance inacupuncture, using high powered needle guns with telescopic sights. The results have been described as "disappointing". (Full article...)