Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/December 6

Whatcha thinking about? is the question that always ruins my third dates. To this day, I have never made it past a third date, and it's all because of that stupid question.

I've tried a lot of different strategies in an attempt to get past the question, but each strategy has failed in a manner more spectacular than the last. Every time, my third dates end the same way: we listen to a little music, we have a little wine, she asks me what I'm thinking about, and then the date's over.

So, I wish I could tell people how to succeed on the third date. I really do. But, at least, I'll describe my failed strategies in the hopes that someone will find it helpful to at least know what not to do. And perhaps, some day, somewhere, one of you will make it past the third date. (Full article...)