Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/December 28

I HATE THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE!!! No, seriously: it's fucking lame. Don't believe me? You're lame, too. I have scientific evidence on my side. The Bermuda Triangle is a bunch of New Age horseshit, and may even be a pyramid scheme. Here's why.

The Bermuda Triangle is an imaginary area of ocean between Bermuda, Puerto Rico, and Myanmar. The idea is that you draw lines between these islands and then inside the triangle there are ghosts. Spooky!...if you're three years old. "Oh noes mommy!! Teh bad water is going to eat teh boats!!!" Grow up! The Bermuda Triangle is just a story made up by sailors, and here's a hint: sailors are drunk 95% of the time. These are the same people that came up with patent nonsense like mermaids and neap tides, and now you're letting them tell you that this one specific area of water shaped like a triangle is going to leap out like the alien does in that movie Alien and rip your face off? No way, because that alien was awesome and the Bermuda Triangle is definitely not awesome. (Full article...)