Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/December 15

The Annual One-Day-Only Winter Holidays Earlybird 5:00 AM 99% Off Sale is a Christmas Winter Holiday Christmas-oriented sales event unlike any other. Once an event designated primarily for "Christmas shoppers", retailers decided it would be best to change the sale from a Christmas sale to a Generic "Holiday" sale, to prevent offending minorities. Offended by the attempt to prevent offense, the Christian Right launched a campaign in 2005 for the War against the War on Christmas. Jewish people reportedly didn't care what the name of the sale was as long as they "save their precious, precious money." (Full article...)