Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/December 14

Regifting (vilis incogitatus donum) is the act of taking a useless or thoughtless gift which you've received and presenting it to somebody else under the pretext of it being a recently purchased item that was specifically chosen for the recipient. Despite this simple definition, regifting is a fairly complex human ritual of etiquette which features a variety of social cues and hidden meanings. This cycle of human interaction paradoxically begins and ends with the same act, the presenting of a tacky gift - most likely intended as an acknowledgment of a birthday or traditional holiday. The emotional dichotomy created by the gift giver's "happy holiday/birthday" sentiment and the gift receiver's social obligation to say "thank you" results in a form of power exchange. Etiquette dictates that the person handing you this crappy gift is entitled to the same respect you'd normally give to any other warm-blooded bipedal creature who brings forth offerings of toys and treasure. The unfortunate reality is that someone has unloaded worthless merchandise on you and got thanked for it while you're left with a burning question that stabs deeply into your soul....Why? (Full article...)