Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/April 18

God (who also goes by the aliases Yahweh, Allah, Jehovah, Jah, Adonai and Elohim to evade debt collectors) is the Supreme Being of three major faiths, and a few dozen sex cults. His preferred pronoun is THE LORD, but He will also settle for He. He is perhaps best known for creating all of existence, with the exception of Himself, unicorns, the Loch Ness Monster, the Inca Empire, Bigfoot, and devil's food cake.

God is burdened with the unfathomable responsibility of sustaining the vital equilibria that allow life to continue, such as answering prayers, committing genocide, committing mass infanticide, starting wars, ending wars and making stars twinkle. Despite this responsibility, God Himself shoehorns these important tasks into the corner whenever an important sports game or horse race is on, as He is the universe's most notorious compulsive gambler. (Full article...)