UnVoyage:South Australia

South Australia

South Australia probably doesn't exist. Everything you've been told about it is a lie. The koalas are robots. If you're thinking of going there, you're just being drugged on the flight and you're actually going to New Zealand. Seriously, I think the biscuits might have meth in them or something, they taste funny.

Understand

History

Welcome to South Australia

South Australia was"created" when there were too many prisoners and they killed them and then learned what directions were or something. Anything else about the history of South Australia is a lie, I bet you.

Talk

Everyone speaks English, but they're all probably robots or AI generated, anyway.

Get in

Plane. Don't eat the food or get a boarding pass (they track you!)

Get around

Bus

Australian Railway track next to Lake Hart, Wirraminna.

Never been on one. Probably a lie by the government.

Car

Probably manufactured somewhere in China. Another lie.

See

Just south of South Australia.

• Mainly a lot of kangaroos.
• They're all just holograms. Don't bother.

Do

Nothing. Just go home, you're not intellectual enough to see the bigger picture of what's going on in Australia. I do, though.

Buy

They accept CAPITALISTIC GREED!!! (payments probably go towards holograms and propaganda).

Eat

• Vegemite is probably just oil by now.
• Fairy Bread contains murdered fairies (do not try if you're vegan).

Drink

Unnecessary, you're probably already drunk from the plane ride there.

Sleep

I'm sure there's something to see around here.

Park benches, homeless shelters, no-tell motels, youth hostiles hostels. May be omitted, except at city/district level.

Stay safe

You can't do this anyway, the government spies on you.

Respect

Say some stuff. I dunno, try a website/blog full of aussie lingo/trash.

Go next

Back home. It's pretty much the same, minus the kangaroos.

Off the Beaten Path three wrong turns ago.