UnVoyage:South Australia
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Like Wikivoyage, but worse. |
South Australia probably doesn't exist. Everything you've been told about it is a lie. The koalas are robots. If you're thinking of going there, you're just being drugged on the flight and you're actually going to New Zealand. Seriously, I think the biscuits might have meth in them or something, they taste funny.
Understand[edit | edit source]
History[edit | edit source]
Australia was "created" when there were too many prisoners and they killed them and made Australia up or something. Anything else about the history of Australia is a lie, I bet you.
Talk[edit | edit source]
Everyone speaks English, but they're all probably robots or AI generated, anyway.
Get in[edit | edit source]
Plane. Don't eat the food or get a boarding pass (they track you!)
Get around[edit | edit source]
Bus[edit | edit source]
Never been on one. Probably a lie by the government.
Car[edit | edit source]
Probably manufactured somewhere in China. Another lie.
See[edit | edit source]
- They're all just holograms. Don't bother.
Do[edit | edit source]
Nothing. Just go home, you're not intellectual enough to see the bigger picture of what's going on in Australia. I do, though.
Buy[edit | edit source]
How to buy stuff. Whether they accept creditcards, or the US dollar. They accept CAPITALISTIC GREED!!! (payments probably go towards holograms and propaganda)
Eat[edit | edit source]
- Vegemite is probably just oil
- Fairy Bread contains murdered fairies (do not try if you're vegan)
Drink[edit | edit source]
unnecessary, you're probably drugged on the plane there
Sleep[edit | edit source]
Park benches, homeless shelters, no-tell motels, youth hostiles hostels. May be omitted, except at city/district level.
Stay safe[edit | edit source]
You can't do this anyway. The government spies on you/
Respect[edit | edit source]
Say some stuff. I dunno, try a website/blog full of aussie lingo/trash.
Go next[edit | edit source]
Back home.