UnTunes:Sunburns for Science

Take one, and your skin will scorch and blister.

Take two, and your squamous cells will become carcinomas.

Don't take three.

Sunburns for Science is an autobiographical ditty by Dr. Laurence T. Dober, a research scientist who has never won the Nobel Prize, and never will.

Dr. Dober has dedicated his life to the pursuit of scientific knowledge, causing Isaac Asimov to posthumously update his famous quote to: "There is a single light of science, and to brighten it anywhere is to brighten it everywhere, except specifically in the case of Dr. Laurence T. Dober."

Besides causing needless cancer in healthy subjects, Dr. Dober is perhaps best known for his own quote, "Fuck you, Isaac."

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Lyrics

In our quiet factory atop this quiet little hill, we make sunburns for science.

And we will, for years to come.

It's taken me a lifetime in the mastery of this skill,

making sunburns for science. And I put them in a pill.

Take one, and your skin will scorch and blister.

Take two, and your squamous cells will become carcinomas.

Take three, and I'm pretty sure you'll melt.

I felt I should deliver this FDA-mandated warning personally.

In our quiet factory atop this quiet little hill, we put sunburns for science in a pill.

In our quiet factory atop this quiet little hill, we make sunburns for science.

And we will, for many years to come.