UnTunes:If I only was a King
Sung to the tune of "If I only had a brain" from the Wizard of Oz, the following tune was featured in TRUMP:The Musical
If I Only Was a King[edit | edit source]
(Sung by Man in Orange Wig) If I ooooonly was a king;
I would outlaw all abortion from the west coast to the east coast,
from Canada to Mexico,
And I'd have a fancy ring.
MAGA Chorus: If he only was a king!
(Wig):And all my fines, They'd be all gone and
No crimes for me forever;
for I'd always be immune.
(MAGA Chorus): Cause then he'd be a king!
(Wig) And I'd never pay my taxes and the IRS would approve, and everyone would salute me.
(MAGA Chorus): We salute you as a king.
Bridge[edit | edit source]
(Wig) Oh, I could make you kiss my ring and then my ass,
and I could make the rules you've never seen before,
And then I'd think, and make some more.
(Wig) And I'd break all of the treaties,
and I'd make everybody pay me,
If I only was the king.
MAGA Chorus: If he only was the king.
(Wig) Then I'd change the Constitution, yes just ME!
Then I could cut all the heads off
the dealers and the liberals
I could outlaw all non-whites.
MAGA Chorus: And then we would claim their land.
(Wig) And then I could deport them, And I'd make it a fun TV sport then, And I'd have a big parade.
MAGA Chorus: Yes, we'd hold a big parade.
(Wig) I could make you give the Constitution up and just let me rewrite it,
If I only was the king.
MAGA Chorus: If he only was the king.
(Wig) Then perhaps you would deserve me,
even may be worthy of me,
If I only was the King.
MAGA Chorus: So now let's make him king.
(MAGA Chorus): And if they do refuse it, To take him as our king then,
We will march on and use guns.
Yes, we'll march on and bear arms.
We will kill off any in our way,
and we'll start a Civil war then
just so that we can adore him,
and then he'll be our king.
Yes he will be our king.
Spoken[edit | edit source]
(A shout follows): NO! HE SHALL NOT BE THE KING! NOT NOW! NOT EVER! (Sounds from crowd offstage: NEVER! WE WANT NO KING!!)
(Cries from the MAGA crowd): RINOS! Filthy libs! Tree huggers! Trannies! Queer supporters! Baby killers! Sluts! Leeches! Perverts! Pedos! Demons! Satan worshippers! GET THEM! GET THEM! (A chase follows). (Lights darken and curtain closes amid Rioting sounds and sounds of breaking glass). One shot is heard, then fade to silence.
INTERMISSION