UnNews:Steve's Lava Chicken shut down due to health code violations
Monday, April 7th, 2025
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VILLAGE OF THEYLOVECRUSHINLOAF -
DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN, VILLAGER NEWS!
This just in, a local favorite establishment, "Steve's Lava Chicken" has been shut down by the Villager Department of Health. The VDH had this to say:
| “ | "Hmm hm hm hmm hmmm hm hm hm hmmm heerrrrrh hm hm hmm hm hm hmm hmm Steve hmmm hmmmmmm heeerrrrrhhhh." | ” |
In other words, there was actually confirmed presence of illegal brewing ingredients such as spider eye and poisonous potato in the popular (and only) menu item, Lava Chicken, and colonies of rats, This has resulted in significant backlash from the public against both the VDH and Steve, who is under investigation for the potential intent to poison villagers via his Lava Chicken, to which he had this to say.
| “ | "Well, actually, I think my staff did this. Cuz they hate me! It's all a LIE! IT'S A LIE! THIS IS BULLSH-" | ” |
He was then charged with assault for aggressively shaking Villager #4, leaving #4 down by an entire heart. The mayor of Theylovecrushinloaf, Villager #92, has also come under scrutiny, Steve saying that he was involved in this, and that he was paying Steve's workers to intentionally fuse the spider eyes and poisonous potatoes into the Lava Chicken. #92 has reportedly said these are false and totally made up accusations, and Steve is "just mad his shitty restaurant got pwned" or something. We don't even know what pwned means.
Steve apparently tried to flee to the Nether during the arrest, and he is expected to be tried later this April.