UnNews:I have a fucking headache.

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6 February 2008

Fucking headache.

USA, USA-- When I woke up this morning it was sunny outside. I saw this little squirrel prancing around the yard and I thought, "Hey, you know what, this is gonna be a great day." So I hopped in the shower, groomed my badself, and went to work.

As soon as I got there this hot chick from Marketing smiled at me and said, "Good morning", and I thought "Hell yeah." Obviously I was in a good mood after that, and started doing my thang in my cubicle, typing up reports like I was on crack or some shit like that. Had lunch, chatted about that thing where people run for president, and felt pretty damn fine.

By the time it was 5 p.m. I thought, "Another successful day. I'm gonna go home and eat some pizza, huff a kitten, and wank." So yeah, I get in the car, and BOOM. I had a FUCKING HEADACHE.

Now I'm a nice enough guy. I get through every day keeping my thoughts to myself, but JESUS FUCK, after 5 FUCKING HOURS of complete BULLSHIT I like to get home and relax without having a SPLITTING HEADACHE to fuck up my FUCKING HEAD. One starts to wonder if maybe God hates one, and then one starts considering suicide.

So if you think you have FUCKING PROBLEMS think about this article and the FUCKING SPLITTING HEADACHE I have and then suck up your FUCKING TEARS, you worthless sack of SHIT.

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