User:Punkster/Boy travels at speed of light, breaks space-time continuum
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
24 September 2007
Not too long ago, a boy in Southern districts of Mexico, Speedy Gonzalez, reached the speed of light on his bike and broke through the fabric of space causing for a black hole to swallow his bike.
Scientists have so far been unable to explain the reaction, yet think as usual that it can be cured.
The boy travelling on his bike tried to turn the speedometer into an angle of 720 degrees, accelerated too much.
When questioned by the Federali, he stated,"It was very frightening. I thought I was going to die. It was just like the time Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked thin air and started a black hole."
The official report came only just 2 days later. Officer Dow Nuts of the Federali stated,"The boy has been charged a life sentence worth of overspeeding and additional 3 months for riding under influence."
The boys mother was unable to comment but blamed his father, a nascar driver, for the need for speed.
The black hole was patched up, though there was huge damage. It was a warning to all those kids who drive fast (and a hint at getting themselves on the news).
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Road Runner "'Speed kills' proved true under normal conditions" Space Time Continuum, September 23, 2007