Zork 3

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 The Spanish Inquisition! Score: -15 Moves: 9

You open the box from the action figer company, and... it's the Spanish Inquisition! Well, not exactly. It's a set of limited-edition Spanish Inquisition action figures. You are in a state of shock because you weren't expecting them. After all, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!


> I was expecting these. I looked at the link to this page, so I was expecting the Spanish Inquisition.
Oh, well. That's a contradiction. The monitor crashes, because it can't handle such an awfully painful contradiction. Unfortunately for you, grues can. Just as your monitor begins to reboot, the grue that was in the house eats you. Ha-ha. Serves you right for being so stupid. The grue realizes the sarcastic nature of this all and joins you in death.


*** You are... GOING GOING GONG!***


Would you like to exit through the Terrible Tugboat, Ruthless Rocket or Mystery Door? (Type TUGBOAT, ROCKET, or DOOR):