Zork 3

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 Princessquest Score: 5555 Moves: 5

<<Swooshh!>>

And you zoom far away from the white house and the Great Underground Empire, hopefully never to return.

You go look for some nice princesses, but you don't find any Zeldas, Peaches or at least Ashes. Could be because this is Zork, and not Zelda/Mario/Final Fantasy. Could be because you didn't search for too long, since you're actually a lazy bastard?

Now. What will you do next?