Zork

Dimensional Rift Thingimajig	Score: -5	Moves: 2
> Run in the nineties RUNNING IN THE NINETIES!! You start running in the nineties while listening to that awesome, awesome song. You build up speed and somehow manage to crash straight through the wall of the house, leaving a big you-sized hole through it. You shake off the firey pain of a thousand broken bones and continue running! However, you soon see colors pressing in on your vision, and a high pitched whine fills the air. > What the hell? How the hell would I know?! > *sigh* look That's better. You notice you are leaving a dazzling rainbow-colored trail behind you and the hum is getting louder. Are you on drugs? > No! I don't believe you. Fess up, you're high man! > beat computer to death with stick WAIT!! WHAT?!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT STICK?! AAAAAAAAAGHHHH!! OW!! OW!! IT HUUURTS!! NO, PUT IT DOWN!! PLEASE!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! AAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH!! NO! I'LL BE GOOD, I'LL BE GOOD!! JUST STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!! > That's better. Now tell me what the hell is going on! Well, I would tell you, but now your world has exploded into a fiery blue maelstrom of pain. > Dammit. Tell me about it. I think you're screwed. > look You are floating in a vast space of eye-hurting ultramarine blue and black that are twinkling and fading and moving in and out. You get a strange feeling... almost as if reality is distorted. > I knew I shouldn't have run in the nineties faster than 88 miles per hour. Whatever. Don't blame me if you're sued. Look around Get eaten by a grue Explode with the energy of a thousand suns Find the narrator/computer of the story Find the narrator/computer of the story and beat him to death with heavy sticks