UnGames:OBS 9000BC/Death
Hooga-Chaka has died a painful and gruesome death.[edit | edit source]
Strength:
Water: UGH!
Yomyoms: UGH!
Weapon: Bare fists
Barterstones:
Items:
Team with: Nobody, me real man.
Sun: Hour 0 of Day 1
This is one of the best-preserved skulls uncovered by underwater researchers in the Bering Strait, just last week. This is huge, giving us brand-new insights into the life of the first wave of humans to enter the New World.
It appears that the possessor of this skull, a man in his mid-thirties, had his entire skull blasted to shreds by... the people who buried him!
But it's still an extraordinary well-preserved skull for a man of this time period... well, it is now, after we put it back together with Elmer's Glue.
No other kind of glue, mold or duct tape seemed to work. The experts are still baffled.
The man, although his true name is unknown, is now referred to by researchers as "<insert name here>", a name adopted from that of an absolute lunatic, namely the discoverer's second cousin.
The remnants of <insert name here>'s skin seems to bear a tattoo, consisting of several spears and arrows pointed towards a bleeding creature with the head of a dog. This, experts believe, shows that he was renowned for his skill at hunting dogs, or that he was a devout follower of a deity who slayed a dog-faced monster.
Similarly to the people who are reading this, <insert name here> appears to have never found a mate, and he was likely shunned by his tribe, as no other skeletons can be found buried within three hundred feet (ninety meters) of his bones.