UnBooks:The Illamanati
Chapter 1: The Beginning[edit | edit source]
In times long ago, the Green Llama, or 'Green Thing' was created as a Llama cucumber hybrid to win a vegetable size contest. The Green Llama has had a long history of people mistreating it, and one Green Llama mutated and was going to do something about it. Over the Green Llamas life on earth before banishment to the internet he made many clones of him self with the power of happy cucumber. With millions of clones one Green Llama saw opportunity, so he mutated himself into the MLG Green Llama 2.0. The MLG Green Llama 2.0 gathered all of the Green Llama clones and told them that with their combined power they could take over the world, thus forming the 'illamanati'. MLG Green Llama 2.0 knew he couldn't lead an army of millions of Green Llamas so he searched the land for some one llamalishus enough to lead by his side. MLG Green Llama 2.0 knew he would also need someone who wasn't trapped in the internet, so he managed to find his future leader, code name: The Last Llama (The code name was for his own protection).
The Last Llama suggested to MLG Green Llama 2.0 to tell the fellow Green Llamas to use the power of Green Llama scream in order to break the (in theory) unbeatable firewall that blocks the internet world from the real one. The Last Llama and MLG Green Llama 2.0 knew that every other meme in the internet would also rush into the real world, but that was exactly their plan. Since the barrier was broken, The Last Llama, MLG Green Llama 2.0, and the rest of the illamanati waited in the ghost town of the internet waiting for their plan to unfold. After months of meme assault inside the real world, all of the memes had been destroyed... or so they thought. MLG Green Llama 2.0 Let out his powerful war cry and with The Last Llama by his side, the illamanati took the world by storm, the world never would have expected that there would be one last wave of memes so no one was ready when the sky turned literally green with a rain of Green Llamas. The world knew that after thousands of waves of memes in the last few months the world was defenseless, so they immediately surrendered without any fight.
Chapter 2: The Next Stage[edit | edit source]
Since the world was under Green Llama control, some humans decided to start an uprising. Governments that claimed they supported the Green Llama cause began secretly funding the rebellion. The Last Llama and MLG Green Llama 2.0 knew they had to come up with a plan fast or they could loose control, because the daily Llama Strikes on rebel bases could not destroy the whole resistance. So they decided to secretly rule the world rather than loose control, so in order to achieve this all Green Llamas were ordered to begin eating anti brain matter instead of their usual diet of rocks, wood, grass, and metal scraps. The idea was that the anti brain matter would turn into a aerosol memory eraser that could spread for miles around the source, this happened because the Green Llamas digest food differently then other creatures, all waste is turned into farts that (depending on what was recently eaten) smells very good and floats for miles. So when the illamanati put the plan into action, it worked just as expected. The whole world completely forgot about the Green Llama presence and continued with their day to day life.
Chapter 3: The Illamanati's Role in the World Today[edit | edit source]
Today all world leaders have been infiltrated and rule under secret Green Llama influence. Major companies are shaping the world in the way the Green Llamas desire, companies like, dollar general, motel 6, chic-fil-a, Chair Inc, Water & Bottle CO, and many more. Also, many famous world figures are under the influence, Obama, Jayz, Rucka Rucka Ali, Kim Jung Un, Bill Gates, Donald Trump, Steve Jobs, and many more are all helping shape the world in a way to honor the heroic cucumber that started everything.
Epilogue[edit | edit source]
Today many people push off the illamanati as a mere conspiracy theory just like the Illuminati. But others are not so sure. The only reason this information came to light is because a random chair fell from the sky one day and on the chair there was a note that read "The illamanati Eats All". Before you ask, no, this wasn't all made up just because we read a sky chair, it was because of... ummmm... nevermind, just trust me. I know what your thinking, why should we trust you? well... its because... I am partially made of drywall. That is all you need to know.