Template:TVHighlights: Difference between revisions

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Bravo 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
 
Bravo 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
 
Noo-Noo steals one of DoinkyFluff's food pellets. Marko rides the wheel.
 
Noo-Noo steals one of DoinkyFluff's food pellets. Marko rides the wheel.
</option>
 
 
<option>
 
'''TV Highlights Readers''' ''Documentary''<br>
 
Discovery 9:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
 
People who read the TV Highlights listings.<br>
 
No, you're not in it.<br>
 
What, you think you're the only person who reads this crap?<br>
 
Fucking narcissist.
 
 
</option>
 
</option>
 
<option>
 
<option>
 
'''No One Is Watching''' ''Mystery''<br>
 
'''No One Is Watching''' ''Mystery''<br>
  +
ABCDEFGHIetc continual<br>
ABC<br>
 
 
Why on earth are you even reading this? You KNOW damned well you are going to click over to USA for "Law & Order: SVU" without even checking this out. That's what everybody does. Why should you be any different? We could put on footage of Richard Nixon doing the Obama twins, and STILL no one would see it. Go watch something else. Anything else. NOW.
 
Why on earth are you even reading this? You KNOW damned well you are going to click over to USA for "Law & Order: SVU" without even checking this out. That's what everybody does. Why should you be any different? We could put on footage of Richard Nixon doing the Obama twins, and STILL no one would see it. Go watch something else. Anything else. NOW.
 
</option>
 
</option>
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'''Felony Place''' ''Prison Sitcom''<br>
 
'''Felony Place''' ''Prison Sitcom''<br>
 
Disney Channel 1:00 AM EDT/12 CDT<br>
 
Disney Channel 1:00 AM EDT/12 CDT<br>
Randy finds a set of keys but loses them in a card game. Marcus tells J
+
Randy finds a set of keys but loses them in a card game. Marcus tells Julio the real reason why his sister doesn't visit. Warden Philips surprises Judge Newly with a new gown. Will Isaak remain the head of dish washing?
  +
</option>
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<option>
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'''Baby With The Bathwater''' ''Comedy''<br>
  +
A&E 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
  +
Juliette has a crisis of conscience when her new boyfriend turns out to be as infanticidal as her last.
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</option>
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<option>
  +
'''[[Nazi Eating|The Nazi Eaters]]''' ''Documentary''<br>
  +
A&E 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
  +
People eating fascists.
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</option>
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<option>
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'''Topless Doctor's Office''' ''Reality''<br>
  +
Showtime 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
  +
Attractive women agree to let cameras into their mammogram sessions. ''Adult program''
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</option>
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<option>
  +
'''Itsy-Bitsy 2: Up the Spout Again''' ''Movie''<br>
  +
HBO 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
  +
Second installment of HBO's acclaimed dramatic reimagining of the popular children's ditty about the intrepid arachnid.
  +
</option>
  +
</choose>
  +
  +
<choose>
  +
<option>
  +
'''Nerds Get Girls''' ''Fantasy''<br>
  +
SciFi 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
  +
High School Science geeks get laid. Really.
  +
</option>
  +
  +
<option>
  +
'''Right Behind You''' ''Paranoia''<br>
  +
Discovery. 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
  +
They're RIGHT there . . no, DON'T look. Just be cool, man. Be cool.
  +
</option>
  +
  +
<option>
  +
'''Stoned Lawyer''' ''Drama''<br>
  +
CBS 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
  +
Dave delivers a totally gnarly closing argument.
  +
</option>
  +
<option>
  +
'''Our Racist Cousin''' ''Comedy''<br>
  +
FOX 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
  +
Lou has a row with a local grocer.
  +
</option>
  +
<option>
  +
'''[[Plink]]''' ''Home Improvement''<br>
  +
FOX 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
  +
Faucet repair.
  +
</option>
  +
<option>
  +
'''NOVA: Unforgivably Straight''' ''Documentary''<br>
  +
PBS 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
  +
Heterosexuality has always been socially acceptable. But are there times when it goes too far? NOVA investigates.
  +
</option>
  +
<option>
  +
'''Opportunity Knox''' ''Comedy''<br>
  +
ABC 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
  +
Accused murderer hottie Amanda Knox answers a roommate wanted ad from a retired Mars rover - hilarity ensues as they clash about everything from kitchen duties to panties drying on the deep space antennae.
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</option>
  +
<option>
  +
'''Viral Videos''' ''?''<br>
  +
TBS 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
  +
Every supposedly hilarious you-tube video you've already been linked to one hundred times on Facebook, in case your day was not dreadful enough already.
  +
</option>
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</choose>
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<choose>
  +
<option>
  +
'''The Glory Hole''' ''Sports''<br>
  +
ESPN 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
  +
Jim and his new friend Eddie try out for the same spot on the team.
  +
</option>
  +
<option>
  +
'''Joy Hour''' ''Religion''<br>
  +
TBN 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
  +
Up and coming pastors ask for financial support in exchange for joy.
  +
</option>
  +
<option>
  +
'''British Farce''' ''British Farce''<br>
  +
BBC America 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
  +
Some generically named, impossible to understand British farce.
  +
</option>
  +
  +
<option>
  +
'''Quinn the Quantum Guy''' ''Children''<br>
  +
Nick Jr. 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
  +
Quinn takes a hilarious look at the double-slit experiment through silly song and dance.
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</option>
  +
  +
<option>
  +
'''Quinn the Quantum Guy''' ''Children''<br>
  +
Nick Jr. 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
  +
If you read this, you cannot watch the show. If you watch the show, you cannot have read this.
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</option>
  +
  +
<option>
  +
'''Jihad Today''' ''Religion''<br>
  +
Al-Jazeera 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
  +
Kill the infidels. KILL them!
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</option>
  +
  +
<option>
  +
'''Quinn the Quantum Guy''' ''Children''<br>
  +
Nick Jr. 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
  +
"Hide and Seek." If you cannot see your parents, do they still exist?
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</option>
  +
  +
<option>
  +
'''Test Patterns''' ''Art history''<br>
  +
CBS 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
  +
In an effort to boost ratings, the network replaces one of its several crime dramas with an hour long slide show of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Test_pattern#Gallery test cards] used throughout TV history.
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</option>
  +
<option>
  +
'''Future shock''' ''Science documentary''<br>
  +
Science Channel 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT<br>
  +
Scientists gloat about technology takeover. [[Michio Kaku]] attempts to help us understand why we have to do what the robots are telling us to.
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</option>
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</choose>
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</span>
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'''<small>[http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=Template:TVHighlights&action=edit edit...]</small>'''
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Revision as of 06:23, 17 November 2012

TV Highlights May 7


Jesus Slaps the Shit Outta _____. Fantasy
EWTN 6:00 PM EDT/5:00 CDT
This week's guests: That screaming kid in the pew behind you. AND his parents.


Nerds Get Girls Fantasy
SciFi 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT
High School Science geeks get laid. Really.


Quinn the Quantum Guy Children
Nick Jr. 8:00 PM EDT/7:00 CDT
If you read this, you cannot watch the show. If you watch the show, you cannot have read this.