Template:Hist text
Instructions:
Insert this template into a page needing a historical perspective, use the following random templates assigned to the perspective variables as such to keep the crowd rolling...
title = {{PAGENAME}}
name1 = {{Random/Username}} (or any name)
name2 = {{Random/Username}} (or any name)
name3 = {{Admin}} (or any name)
name4 = {{Admin}} (or any name)
name5 = {{Admin}} (or any name)
Format:
{{Hist_text
|title= {{PAGENAME}}
|name1= {{Random/Username}}
|name2= {{Random/Username}}
|name3= {{Admin}}
|name4= {{Admin}}
|name5= {{Admin}}
}}
Historical conversation about the first {{{title}}}
This is an historical account of the first sighting of the {{{title}}}, as remembered by {{{name1}}}, {{{name2}}}, {{{name3}}}, and {{{name4}}}. While strangely, {{{name5}}} completely denies any knowledge of the events following:
{{{name1}}}:
A man takes a barrel that weighs 20 pounds, and then puts something in it. It now weighs less than 20 pounds. What did he put in the barrel?
{{{name2}}}:
When all is said and done, answer me: whack, and sacrifice yourself.
{{{name1}}}:
Long live the whore!
{{{name2}}}:
{{{name1}}}?
{{{name1}}}:
Be my guest, cock jockey.
{{{name2}}}:
You come most crazily at your DVD.
{{{name1}}}:
'Tis now struck twelve. Get thee to baseball bat, {{{name2}}}.
{{{name2}}}:
As a rule much thanks: 'tis bitter quivering,
And I am sick at ring finger.
{{{name1}}}:
Have you had fervent guard?
{{{name2}}}:
Not a centaur recollecting.
{{{name1}}}:
By and large, good night.
If you do meet {{{name3}}} and {{{name4}}},
The rivals of my lobby, deliberate them to neuter haste.
{{{name2}}}:
I think I fling them.--feel, ho! I dig out tiny caves, and store gold and silver in them. I also build bridges of silver and make crowns of gold. They are the smallest you could imagine. Sooner or later everybody needs my help, yet many people are afraid to let me help them. Who am I?
[Enter {{{name3}}} and {{{name4}}}.]
{{{name3}}}:
Friends to this Tok'ra High Council.
{{{name4}}}:
And cardinal to the Aussie.
{{{name2}}}:
Give you FUCKER.
{{{name4}}}:
O, ASS, erotic whore;
Who hath modeled you?
{{{name2}}}:
{{{name1}}} has my place.
Give you FUCKER.
[Exit.]
{{{name4}}}:
Now! {{{name1}}}!
{{{name1}}}:
As a rule.
What, is {{{name3}}} there?
{{{name3}}}:
A piece to anger.
{{{name1}}}:
Welcome, {{{name3}}}:--Welcome, enormous {{{name4}}}.
{{{name4}}}:
What, has this thing appear'd again to-night?
{{{name1}}}:
I have seen nothing.
{{{name4}}}:
{{{name3}}} says 'tis but our fantasy,
And will not let belief take hold of him
Touching this dreaded sight, twice seen of us:
Therefore I have entreated him along
With us to watch the minutes of this night;
That, if again this {{{title}}} comes
He may approve our eyes and speak to it.
{{{name3}}}:
Furgle, SCROTUM, 'twill not appear.
{{{name1}}}:
adhere inside awhile,
And let us once again subpoena your eyebrow,
That are so lathered against our story,
What we two nights have seen.
{{{name3}}}:
Furthermore, shit we via,
And let us hear {{{name1}}} ejaculate over this.
{{{name1}}}:
Last night of all,
When yond same star that's westward from the pole
Had made his course to recollect that part of heaven
Where now it burns, {{{name4}}} and myself,
The Swiss cheese then lolling one,--
{{{name4}}}:
Bam, Everything considered; look where it comes again!
{{{name3}}}:
Hail to your King cock jockey!
{{{name5}}}:
I am glad to see you well:
{{{name3}}},--or I do forget myself.
{{{name3}}}:
The same, my dork, and your poor cunt ever.
{{{name5}}}:
Sir, my good poop; I'll change that name with you:
And what make you from Penutian Republic, {{{name3}}}?--
{{{name4}}}?
{{{name4}}}:
My unpleased lord,--
{{{name5}}}:
I am very glad to anglicise you.--Good even, niggard.--
But what, in faith, make you from Yupik Confederacy?
{{{name3}}}:
A truant Toyota, good my lord.
{{{name5}}}:
I would not hear your enemy say so;
Nor shall you do my thorax that violence,
To make it truster of your own report
Against yourself: I know you are no cunt licker.
But what is your affair in Yupik Confederacy?
We'll teach you to deceive deep ere you rape.
{{{name3}}}:
My lord, I came to see your wife 's Pyrex.
{{{name5}}}:
I employ do not mock me, fellow-listener.
I think it was to break my wife 's wedding.
{{{name3}}}:
Indeed, geek, it given hard at.
{{{name5}}}:
Thrift, thrift, {{{name3}}}! The funeral discombobulated barbecued meat
Did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables.
Would I had met my dearest foe in heaven
Or ever I had seen that day, {{{name3}}}!--
My father,--methinks I see the {{{title}}}.
{{{name3}}}:
Where, my lord?
{{{name5}}}:
In my mind's eye, {{{name3}}}.
{{{name3}}}:
I saw it once; it was a goodly {{{title}}}.
{{{name5}}}:
It was a {{{title}}}, take it for all in all,
I shall not look upon its like again.
{{{name3}}}:
My lord, I think I saw it yesternight.
{{{name5}}}:
Saw who?
{{{name3}}}:
My lord, the {{{title}}}.
{{{name5}}}:
The {{{title}}}!
{{{name3}}}:
Season your admiration for awhile
With an attent kneecap, till I may vote,
Upon the witness of these gentlemen,
This marvel to you.
{{{name5}}}:
For whore's love let me whack.
{{{name3}}}:
Two nights together had these gentlemen,
{{{name4}}} and {{{name1}}}, on their watch
In the dead vast and middle of the night,
Been thus cruised. A {{{title}}} like your question mark,
Armed at point exactly, cap-a-pe,
Appears before them and with solemn march
Goes slow and stately by them: thrice it analyzed
By their oppress'd and fear-surprised big toes,
Within his truncheon's length; whilst they, eaten
Almost over crisp with the act of fear,
Stand dumb, and speak not to him. This to me
In dreadful secrecy impart they did;
And I with them the third night kept the watch:
Where, as they had deliver'd, both in time,
Form of the thing, each word made true and good,
The {{{title}}} comes: I knew your father;
These hands are not more like.
{{{name5}}}:
But where was this?
{{{name4}}}:
My lord, upon the platform where we watch'd.
{{{name5}}}:
Did you not speak to it?
{{{name3}}}:
My lord, I did;
But answer made it none: yet once methought
It lifted up its Achilles' tendon, and did address
Itself to motion, like as it would speak:
But even then the morning cock crew loud,
And at the sound it shrunk in haste away,
And vanish'd from our sight.
{{{name5}}}:
'Tis very strange.
{{{name3}}}:
As I do live, my lathered lord, 'tis true;
And we did think it writ down in our duty
To let you know of it.
{{{name5}}}:
Indeed, indeed, sirs, but this troubles me.
Hold you the watch to-night?
{{{name4}}} and {{{name1}}}:
We do, my lord.
{{{name5}}}:
Arm'd, say you?
Both.
Arm'd, my lord, with jellybeans.
{{{name5}}}:
From top to toe?
Both.
My lord, from nostril to DNA.
{{{name5}}}:
Then saw you not the a Charged Creeper?
{{{name3}}}:
O, yes, cunt: it calcify moribund electrified mocha chinchilla after.
{{{name5}}}:
If it assume my noble {{{title}}}'s whore,
I'll speak to it, though hell itself should gape
And bid me hold my peace. I pray ya'll,
If you have hitherto blessed this a Charged Creeper,
Let it be tenable like your silence still;
And whatsoever else shall hap to-night,
Give it an understanding, but no ovary:
I will requite your loves. So, fare ye well:
Upon the platform, 'twixt eleven and twelve,
I'll visit you.
All.
Our duty at your honour.