Talk:Alpha
Alpha is a fictional robot on the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers television series. On Alpha's chest is a yellow stylized lightning bolt tattoo similar to the Power Rangers' lightning bolt symbol, but inverted. The reason his lightning bolt is inverted is because he is a Satanist. His head is in the shape of an inflated hockey puck, and he has lights in his visor that flash when he is speaking, eating, masturbating or pampering Zordon. He is most known for his cry of "Aye-aye-aye-aye-aye!" which he used in many situations (most often in alarm/panic, although it also has been uttered when Billy performed a clumsy action, or when Tommy and Jason would argue about who gets to fuck Kimberly first, and who gets sloppy seconds). He can often be seen performing this cry during sexual intercourse sessions with his master, The Big Z, Zordon. Contents [hide]
* 1 Character history * 2 Alpha's Magical Christmas * 3 Trivia * 4 See also * 5 External links
[edit] Character history
The year was 1969. On a cold winters night, on a mountain in Tunisia, Alpha was born. He was left abandoned by his mother after just 4 days, and left for dead because he was such a dick. That was until a very big citizen(Zordon)discovered him in a Tesco shopping basket by a river. From this day forward, Zordon took care of Alpha and they did everything together. Zordon would often take Alpha to strip clubs, casinos, wrestling matches and hockey games. By the age of 19, Alpha started a brief career in the hockey business but soon retired because of continuous injury. Other players would often mistake Alpha's head for the hockey puck and he was also disqualified on a number of occasions, when the referee believed his huge hockey puck head was a distraction to the opposition.
In November 1989, Alpha suffered a severe nervous breakdown. He got so bad he even attempted suicide on numerous occasions. He over-dosed on Ibuprofen and Vitamin E's but was saved and rushed to hospital by a young African American called Zack, the Black Ranger(what a coincidence). Whilst in hospital Alpha went through a rebellious phase and got a tattoo of an inverted lightning bolt in the hospital's tattoo wing. He decided he was a Satanist now, because he lost all faith in the Power Ranger religion. Just 3 days after he was released from hospital, Alpha tried drowning himself in Zordon's Energy Tube while Zordon was sleeping. Zordon awoke suddenly and head butted Alpha out of his Tube and realised, 'Enough was Enough'. Zordon couldn't believe Alpha turned out this way. It wasn't how he raised him. He decided to convert Alpha into his Official Bitch.
December 7th 1990. Judgment Day for Alpha. Zordon had planned a sadistic Ritual to convert Alpha, once his son, into his full time Bitch. Alpha was strapped to a table in the shape of a lightning bolt whilst Zordon urinated over his metal body. After this procedure was complete, Zordon continuously thrusted his huge length into Alpha. Once his Master had finished off, Alpha (Now covered in urine and Zordon's love juice) was removed from the table. Alpha was now Zordon's little Cum-slut, and treated Zordon like a God(which he is). To this day you can see Alpha polishing Zordon's Energy Tube and taking Zordon in his tight steel anal passage.
Meeting The Rangers
In the early days of the series, Alpha often acted like a younger brother to the Rangers, always wanting spend time with them and learn things (such as creating Microsoft from Billy). He would often engage in games of Naked Hide and Seek, although he'd refuse to participate whenever a female Ranger was playing. He matured slightly as the series progressed, but always remained a naive, child-like assistant. These Child-like qualities are what first attracted Zordon, and he just can't get enough of them. Residing in the Command Center with Zordon, he served as the Rangers' technician, constructing weapons for them to use against the forces of Lord Zedd, Sgt. Slaughter and Rita Repulsa.
When Rita sent the Green Ranger to sabotage the Command Center, the evil Ranger slipped his green penis into Alpha's inner workings, unleashing a virus onto the unwitting droid which caused him to convulse violently (as well as make his voice falter and warp). Though the removal of the penis seemed to provide Alpha some temporary relief, Billy had to repair Alpha's circuitry in order to permanently remove the virus. Alpha later captured the Green Ranger in a forcefield, but Rita rescued him before Alpha could reveal his identity (though the computer locked-on to his bio-signals, running them through the system and thus allowing everyone to know Green Ranger's identity later). Since this near fatal virus attack, Alpha has switched his operating system from Windows XP to MAC OS.
In the second season of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Alpha had three encounters with Lord Zedd's forces. In The Wannabe Ranger, he attempted to assist a little boy lost in Angel Grove Park, but was attacked by the Pedorator, a shapeshifting Pedophile monster who disguised himself as Billy and tried to trick Alpha into taking him to the Command Center to take advantage of the other youths. Alpha activated his self-destruct sequence to protect the Command Center, but seemed unable to deactivate it once the Pedorator left, and it was necessary for the Rangers do so. Later in the season, he would leave the Command Center to rescue the Rangers, who had been trapped within a photograph by the Photomare monster. In his attempt to capture the photo, Alpha was confronted by both Photomare and Pedorator, he took severe punishment in all 5 holes.
Near the end of the season, in The Wedding, he was ambushed by Finster and the Putties as he took a hike outside the Command Center. Just as the Green Ranger had, Finster inserted his penis into Alpha's circuits, but instead of delivering a virus, his cock warped Alpha's personality into an evil, obnoxious brat, who assisted Zedd and Rita by tricking the Rangers into an abandoned theater (which Finster proceeded to fill with children). Alpha also cut the Rangers off from Zordon and the Thunderzords. When Zordon's pleas for him to stop annoyed him, Alpha comically altered Zordon's image (giving him hair and glasses) before shutting Zordon off completely. The Rangers eventually removed the genital from Alpha, instantly returning him to normal.
In the third season, it was revealed that Alpha was constructed on the planet Edenoi by King Lexian, the grandfather of the Masked Rider. Zordon confirmed this untrue as he had found him in a shopping basket in Tunisia.
By the time of Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Alpha had gained a new, streamlined body. His plating was much more reflective than before, and his lightning bolt was now an arrow pointing straight down to his non existant dick. (this body would be more commonly associated with Alpha 6). When Zordon left for his home planet of Eltar (in Shift Into Turbo), Alpha went with him, saddened that he was leaving the Rangers behind. The two later briefly returned after a secret honeymoon Zordon had planned.
[edit] Alpha's Magical Christmas
Alpha's Magical Christmas was a short Command centre-made porn movie, starring Alpha and Zordon. The couple decided to make the film to raise money for Children In Need. They helped raise a massive £50,024 and both achieved medals for their bravery.
The film's story is about Alpha, a young orphan spending christmas alone. All of a sudden Santa(played by Zordon) appears and puts Alpha on his lap.
He asks Alpha if he's been a good boy this year. Alpha says "Yes! Oh Yes!" and they both engage in sexual intercourse whilst Alpha continuously screams "Fuck me Santa! Aye-aye-aye-aye-aye!"
The film ends with Alpha dying from internal bleeding, tangled up wiring and a fried processor chip deep in his system.
[edit] Trivia
- Alpha's favourite musicians are Ronan Keating and the Village People. His favourite band is Judas Priest and he boasts seeing them live 14 times.
- Alpha works part time in Pizza Hut and as a Tornado Chaser.
[edit] See also