Wheeling Jesuit University/Campus/T-More's Six Pack
Although it is a mere parking space today, T-More's Six-Pack once served a far greater purpose. Well, at least that's what we like to tell ourselves. These days, its location has more or less resigned itself to being a miniature destruction derby arena of sorts, but in olden times...
And Now For Something Completely Different[edit | edit source]
After the construction of Fortress T-More, there was a desire by the Dschinghis Khan protectorate to make full access to it far easier. Prior to the construction of the six-pack, a jungle trail and teleportation device were the only ways to get to T-More. After someone spilled beer on the teleportation device and a man eating rabbit was seen on the trail, people demanded another way in. A road and docking center was then built for inter-galactic travelers who stopped by. The docking center used top-secret Star Gate technology and a Krispy Kreme doughnut center to attracting visitors from all over the cosmos. Since the six-pack had been used as a dumping area for spent fuel rods for an Atlantian reactor, the six-pack, with the proper equipment, is capable of providing it's own power. However, after being sued for their use of Star Gate technology, the Dschinghis Khan protectorate threw the Star Gate into Big Wheeling Creek and paved over the space for the convenient parking of six cars.
Xenu Attacks[edit | edit source]
Rumor has it that famed adventurer L. Ron Hubbard used the six-pack's Xenu-like energy to ascend to the next astral plane. Or maybe he just got high there... It was Mr. T.
In Other News[edit | edit source]
In 1066, Immortal Jesuit Emperor Fed Acker Huang attempted to fish the Star Gate out of Big Wheeling Creek for his plans to conquer the "Hot Babes Galaxy." However, during the process the Gate was damaged when a golf cart, driven by Lakedog, struck the Star Gate and flung it into the now jealous The Back Gate. The Back Gate destroyed the Star Gate using its Uber-Tesla Coils, cooking it to a fine crisp. The distorted remains of the Star Gate can be seen near the Cheese Wedge Chapel where the Emperor Fred Acker Huang enshrined it's remains under the guise of "The State of West Virginia" - otherwise known as The Finger of Democracy.
T-More's Six-Pack Challenge[edit | edit source]
Anyone can fit six cars in T-More's Six-Pack. But how many can be fit in there altogether? The current record is 9.