Silly Putty

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Mick Jagger?

Silly Putty (Chemical formula: (SpCOClN), is a rubbery, slimy compound that displays exceptional elasticity and rubbericity. It is the natural excretion of the Bunga-Bunga squirrel, and is highly prized for it's Erectile Dysfunction treatment properties.

Discovery

Silly Putty was accidentally discovered by Sir Rudolph Silly in 1943, while attempting to invent a substance that neither bounces nor stretches, breaks, or reproduces newsprint images. Although unsuccessful in his original goal, Sir Rudolph soon found he could form comical phallic shapes with the new substance, which he went on to market as "Silly Willy Putty," later shortened to its current name.

Silly Putty in WWII

Silly putty was experimented with by the Germans as a substitute for weaponry. This was a complete failure, and is the reason why they lost the war. Ask any senile old man. They know.

Uses for Silly Putty

It was not until many years later that Silly Putty was found to have a use. Although many of these uses may or may not seem trivial or not, they have meaning in the greater scheme of things. A comprehensive guide is given below:

Uses for Silly Putty

• You can putt it in your hair, as a new fashion statement!
• You can putt it on the carpet and mash it in!
• You can eat it!
• You can stuff a turkey with it!
• Use it to get a stiffy!
• You can fuel a car with Silly Putty!
• You can put it in your CD player to hear the bonus track!
• You can Use it for your new pet!
• You can sculpt ANYTHING with it, than melts 2 minutes later.
• In some instances it can be made into a friend and or spouse. The sex usually isn't good.unless u stick it up ur fanny
• You can throw it at Hillary Clinton!
• It makes a great way to annoy the flight attendant!
• It makes a great garrotte wire!
• You can use it to reinforce your doors and windows for IVAW!