Schomaker's cat

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Cat before the Experiemt.

Schomaker's cat is not Schrödinger's_cat, but also a cat who happened to be inside a box, along with (supposedly a) poisonous gas; according to [[1]]. Unlike Schrödinger's_cat who ended up with half-life, Schomaker's cat is a survivor after three sessions of the experiment inside the Schomaker's THC box. Schomaker is a Convicted Kitten Huffer, got busted by FBI, FDA, CHS (Capital Humane Society) and many many more organizations. He had to pay a compensation of $400 to the kitten who got huffed and survived.

Experiment[edit | edit source]

Schomaker's cat is the result of a mad pothead putting a poor cat inside a bong and trying to huff weed instead of kitten-huffing. This is also an example of the dangers of using wrong method for kitten-huffing.

Schomaker's THC box - Bong Box (or Box Bong) 12" X 6"

Theory[edit | edit source]

Kitten_Huffing is a popular alternative for street drugs. But there are junkies who "tried 'em all" and still seek a higher high. Schomaker is a smart guy who try to do things in a different way, he thought that if you get a cat to get high and then huff the cat, he would obtain a higher high. But the problem was that this cat was not meant to be huffed, and quite week as Schomaker was. Schomaker had no idea about Quantum physics. That's why he didn't made a quantum box. Being a stoner, he instead used a fish tank and turned it in to a Bong.

Outcome[edit | edit source]

The stoned cat was supercharged and the cat huffed Schomaker instead he huffing the cat. The cat ended up turning to a green color. (That's what happen when a tabby cat gets stoned on weed).

Instead of a Quantum box, Schomaker's cat was put inside this glass box covered with duct tape and a garden horse on one side. Please heed my warning, never do kitten huffing with weed, it should be either weed or kitten-huffing alone. Never do bothe together, or else the kitten will be supercharged with weed and huff you!

Schomaker's Mugshot

This cat survived the experiment 3 times, and the mad pothead who believed that he is a scientist ended up in the jail. The poor kitty is still stoned.

Conklushun[edit | edit source]

A typical stoned ginger cat.

When you put a kitten in a bong (quantum or not), it would end up in a kitten-disaster. Specially when you choose a tabby cat, a non-huffable cat. (Tabby cats are a cross breed of basement cats and ceiling cats, and they are like half demon, half angel, sort, a..)

And always remember, never experiment mix-and-match with these kind of stuff; because you simply can't mix these stuff! (Like Kitten Huffing, Weed, Acid and stuff). So do one thing at a time..

Besides, Schomaker's cat is what we call a "Quarter Kitten", that it is grown little too much to call a kitten, but too young to be called a Cat. You need some experience to huff with a Quarter Kitten, even you huff the kitten alone (without other stuff).

Foot notes[edit | edit source]

An atypical stoned ginger cat. (Huffable, and also still gets stoned itself!) P.S. This is ma cat, and he does weed.. and gets reeely high! Sometimes we have to use the ladder to get him down!

Now, there are certain types of cats who could get high on weed. Basement cats sure could do weed and get high. Black cats when given a joint, would smoke the whole thing without even leaving the roaches for you. Then they get killer munchies, that they would even catch the mousies of neighbour houses. Then they would sleep like dead. So next time you do some real stuff that involves weed and a cat, go for a pure breed basement cat.

Ginger cats are way too weird for these kind a stuff, they can get high for themselves, but you may not huff that darn cat, or else you would get pwned by the cat.

And another thing: Nver attempt Quantum Physics (or even Condom Physics) when you get high! They say, write when stoned, edit when not high or something like that. And I don't know how that is relevant here..