Rick Grimes
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“My pecker levels are rising.”
Rick Grimes is widely known as the biggest cuck in television history. His wife, Lori, cucks the fuck out of him by getting with his best friend, Shane. During the series, he is constantly yelling for his son, Coral (or is it Carl?). He also meets a Korean pizza boy named Glenn, who has a little breaded Asian dick. We will get to this later.
First appearance[edit | edit source]
He first appears in the episode, "Gays Gone Die", where he is on a gay date with his more than best friend, Shane. It's a very romantic date, with their meal consisting of fast food burgers and fries. They get a call over the radio that two suspects are extremely dangerous so they go to where they are last seen.
They arrive to where the suspects should be arriving soon, they lay down spike strips and point their guns at the road. One of his colleagues remarks, "It would be cool to get on one of those cop shows." Rick pistol whips him and lays him down on the spike strip. The suspect's car starts coming around the road and hits the spike strip, as well as the fellow officer. The officers open fire, but Rick is shot 16 times by his own colleagues. He is put into a coma and reawakens in a hospital, where he dreams that Shane had recently kissed him on the forehead. Rick stumbles out of his room to search for help, but no one is found and the hospital appears to be in disrepair. Rick pisses in his hospital gown and shits in a corner, out of fear. He composes himself and walks down the hall to find two steel doors that say. "OPEN, NOTHING INSIDE". Rick opens the door and is gangraped by Shaquille O'Neal and Marther Luther King Jr. They then hit him over the head with a shovel, which knocks Rick out cold. He awakens later thinking his name is "Rark Grames".
The Cuckening[edit | edit source]
Several days pass until he finally reunites with his family, his actual wife and son. He finally accepts his family for once, after an emotional reunion, the same night, he witnesses Lori and Shane going to freaky town!