Portal:Internet/Intro

The Internet (archaic Inter-net) also know as the Hinternet, the Tinternet and A Series of Tubes is a communication tool used by the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another. It is made of, but not limited to, a series of tubes, telegraph wires, pony expresses, hobo signs, tortoise shells, smoke signals, Oscar Wilde quotes and warning beacons of Gondor, not to be confused with a big truck. Based on a Fork of an early prototype build of Las Vegas, it was originally built by Al Gore to distribute pornography and is owned, operated and monitored by the Illuminati. It is mostly used for access to generally C-grade pornography, theme songs, ultra-porn, and cans of spam. The Internet was at first designed to accumulate the knowledge of mankind, and by learning and sharing the newly synthesized knowledge generating singularity. But it turned out to be much more effective in accumulating and amplifying idiocy, creating a being not known before: the troll. It is a well known fact that the internet is over ninety-nine-and-a-half-percent pornography. These statistics are being backed by such reliable sources as the Navy and Wikipedia. (Full article...)