Poop Loop
'Twas a dreary and damp night as I scoured the depths of the Uncyclopedia, looking for a laugh, even a chuckle of an article. I felt suddenly compelled to check UN:HTBFANJS, as perhaps a refresher on what was truly funny, and not stupid would clear my senses. But, alas! In my weary and weakened state, my brain slipped up, and rearranged the words "Funny" and "Stupid" in the search bar! My mistake caused by my exhaustion would soon cost me dearly, and I soon knew the gravity of my mistake as the page loaded in.
Initial shock & horror[edit | edit source]
What horror! What perverted display! What a twist of comforting reality lay before me! This was not the HTBFANJS that I knew and loved, rather a detestable, bizzaro-world version of it. My eyes were glued to the screen, unable to look away from the monstrosity that lay before me. The page boar the words...
"You have no chance to survive make your time!!! Follow advice below. For great justice."
This text, obviously written by some sort of adolescent or mentally-deteriorated individual, beckoned me to continue to scroll down the page, and plunge further into the depths, and I reluctantly obliged...
Continued descent[edit | edit source]
As I continued on my unfortunate and unwilling journey down this horrid page, these monstrous ideas popped out to me, beckoning me to partake in them... "Buy a Comedian..." "Spend a little bit of time banging your head on a wall to kill brain cells..." What horrible, terrifying, and counterproductive ideas! To follow any of those would be to ruin my good reputation as an astute and dignified writer on Uncyclopedia. I carried on down through the page, an unfortunate martyr of my own actions.
Passing through what I could only describe as a section entirely chock-full of profanity, I stumbled upon the next section... "Cliché." What an unassuming and calm word, it was, and I was slightly reassured. Perhaps I was in the eye of the storm, or better yet, gotten past the worst sections. However, scrolling down the page, a certain, unavoidable entry hit me...
The revelation[edit | edit source]
What a dreadful command! As I read it, a full shock went through my body like a frozen lightning bolt. How compelling, this was, for me to do mischief! How devious it would be for me to create this page! I continued on, though greatly disturbed...
The rest of the page seemed to fly by me in a blur, and yet, that simple, stupid entry! Why was it the entry that stood out to me, that spoke to me in such a tumultuous voice?? I returned to the entry in the list, and stared at it, mesmerized. I did not follow the childish belief of "poop humor," that was simply never bemusing to me, and sexual intercourse is something that I am in of no particular demand of right now. So why, then, did I feel so compelled to indulge in such a foolish request? I had no choice, I had to delve deeper into the matter, and venture outside of the article.
Attempts at escaping my destiny[edit | edit source]
I felt that I couldn't simply be the only one that felt pulled by this. Surely, another user was tempted like I was, and created the article, so that I didn't have to. I typed the words in the bar, slowly, reluctantly, worriedly: "Poop Loop." Instantly, I was whisked away from the page that had so first brought me into this devil deed, into a blank page. As it loaded in, I was greeted with an unpleasant outcome.
"Hello, WohMi. You're about to create an article for Uncyclopedia! How exciting!"
Damn it all! Why couldn't it have simply been created, and my problems would've been over! I'm sure that the page itself would've been no better than the page I left before, but at least the daunting task of creating such a monster wouldn't be placed in my unwilling hands! O misfortune, O unjust Calamity! And, even worse, a Warning emblazoned at the bottom of the page...
"Warning: You are recreating a page that was previously deleted."
Huffed back in the Year of our Lord 2012! How unlucky I was, to have stumbled on such an Ancient pitfall! Maybe I could just click off the page, act like I never viewed it, never saw it, never even heard the words "Poop Loop..."
Acceptance[edit | edit source]
Nay. To leave this page uncreated, untouched would be a most cowardly act, an escape from my destiny, however unfortunate it may be. And to think, if another innocent like myself were to stumble on the devilish command. The guilt I would feel for handing of this unfortunate task to some poor innocent reader would be the worst pain of all! Thus, with great reluctance, I began to type, and deciding to start at the end, simply typed two simple, yet life-changing words: