Oedipus Rex

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The first Oedipus skeleton

“My arms are too stubby, I can’t gouge out my eyes!”

Oedipus Rex (Oedipus irrumaremater) was the dominant predatory species of dinosaur inhabiting the majority of the southern Achaean peninsula until around 65 million years ago, when it went extinct due to inbreeding and other practices. Sophocles discovered the first Oedipus skeleton in 428 BCE.

Anatomy[edit | edit source]

The typical Oedipus Rex reached a height of nearly seven meters (twenty feet) and about thirty (years). There are multiple instances of fights between Oedipus's[1] main competitor Tiresaurus (Prudentia tiresias), a smaller, more agile, species with the ability to see into the future despite having no eyeballs. Oedipus skeletons have frequently been found with broken arms, legs and even (healed) necks. It was also the first recorded species to ever bear children with its his mother.

Development[edit | edit source]

  • Infancy: Oedipuses[2] are commonly born with their feet tangled in the umbilical cord; after a few days the parents, known as Laiusauri, will leave the offspring on a high mountain. The presumed explanation for this behavior is that it expels young from the same niche as their elders and limits intraspecies competition. Once abandoned, the Oedipuses are commonly found by young shepherd boys and given to another pair of Oedipuses. Scientists are embroiled in debate over this particular explanation, as to date no one has found a fossil of a shepherd.
  • Adolescence: Recent studies have unearthed several fossils of male Laiusauri apparently having been killed by adolescent Oedipuses. It is thought that this is instinctive behaviour in order to prevent the parents from becoming rivals for developing Oedipuses'[3] territory. However, no evidence of this in the female of the species has ever been found, suggesting that the adolescent Oedipus had difficulty in identifying one particular female as its his biological parent.
  • Maturity: The few fossils of adult Oedipuses that have been found were all been located a considerable distance away from those of younger forms of the species. In addition, all of these bear considerable damage to the side of the skull, which in some cases must have rendered the individual blind. The only instrument capable of such damage is the claw of a mature Oedipus, although scholars are still baffled by this phenomenon.

See also[edit | edit source]

Notes[edit | edit source]

  1. ED uh pus sizz
  2. Deprecated: Oedipui (Eddie POOie).
  3. Deprecated: Oedipuses's (ED uh pus sizz izz).