Nikolai Belinksi
Nikolai Belinski is a drunk ass piece of shit that goes on crazy adventures with a weird Nazi doctor.
Childhood[edit | edit source]
Nikolai was born in a gulag in Leningrad, USSR in the year DRUNK. From an early age, Nikolai was constantly working at a factory in Leningrad producing boots, because all anybody ever makes under communism is boots. At age 5 was when he got his first taste of Vodka and just like any other Russian he had to satisfy this addiction every day (See article on Russians for more info.). He learned the best way to get Vodka is to pillage villages in other slavic countries for it. To make it easier he made his own ship he called the H.M.S. Shitface in which was used by him for 5 years until the Soviet Government saw how badass it would be to have a ship made out of a giant Vodka bottle in their Navy so they unfortunately shipjacked him when he wasn't looking, and that was the last he ever saw of it. :(
MORE WIVES THAN U!!!!!!!!111!1!!!!![edit | edit source]
THATS RIGHT MUTHERFECKUR! NIKI HAZ MORE WIVES THAN U!!!! HE HAS 1000 FUCKING WIVES. Apparently Russians pretty much achieve their goals by raping people (Example: Battle of Berlin). He decided to rise up throughout the ranks of the Soviet Government to get more free stuff like the dumb, lazy communist he is by raping the wives of Government officials. Of course in Russian culture it is proven time and time again that the best way for a man to show dominance over another man is to either A: Steal his bitch or B: Rape his bitch. That's what Nikolai did. He raped the their bitches and forced them to marry him so he could climb the political ladder. Eventually Stalin tried to put a stop to this due to the fact it got of hand, but unfortunately Nikolai had turned his women into a army of women with weapons he stole from a Soviet armory and he was to powerful so the wife raping continued. I bet Nikolai is such a ladies man that he could steal your bitch! I bet your waifu would rather go out with a chad, big, burly slavic man than your fat western ass that eats nothing but fucking McDonald's every fucking day and has the diabeetus! JUST LOOK AT THAT DRUNKEN FACE!!! OH AND THOSE DRUNKEN EYES!!! SSSSSOOOOOO SEXYYYYY!!!! I WANNA HAVE SEX WITH HIM ALREADY!!!
Service in the Red Army[edit | edit source]
Nikolai joined the Red Army to "FIGHT FOR DA MUTHERLAND". He immediately was promoted to the rank of Sergeant by his Commanding Officer due the fact that Nikolai asserted his male dominance by threatening to rape his wife if he didn't. Nikolai then fought many great battles until he was finally captured by German forces at the Battle of Stalingrad, and given to Dr. Edward Richtofen to be used as his sex slave. Now he travels across the multiverse with Richtofen, a crazy American, and a weeaboo.